Perfect Strangers
by Seigi-san
Summary: What would have happened if Akatsuki had saved the Archangel..but Neo hadn't recovered his missing memories? Would he and Murrue still have been together? NXM, AU
1. Chapter 1

( This is a new story of mine (yes, yes, I know I've written enough by now) and I decided to write AU again, only less AU than my other story. I just wondered what kind of life they'd have if Neo-san had saved the _Archangel_, but never got his memories back. I'm pretty sure that he and Murrue-san would have been together whatever happened, but it's nice to wonder, ne? )

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It was after the battle when he found her. She hadn't come down to the hangar to meet him, but to be honest, he hadn't expected her to. _I wish you had, though. I have something I want to tell you..._ He'd hoped that his actions during the battle had helped her understand. He'd jumped in the way of the _Minerva_'s positron cannon, not without thinking, but because he'd wanted to protect her. After all the things he'd done during his time with the Alliance, the people he'd killed - he'd had to save _her_. The thought of such a kind and beautiful person being killed...when _he_ could do something to prevent it...it was too painful to consider. Smiling, he'd run a hand through rumpled blonde hair, the locks damp with sweat. _I don't even remember exactly when it happened. Just that one day I was sitting with her, drinking coffee just like always, when she smiled at me. That moment...my heart started thumping so loud I was sure she'd hear it. Her smile, it made me dizzy..made it feel like a thousand butterflies were in my stomach. That's when I realised that I loved her._

He'd made the decision then. Akatsuki..the mobile suit the Representative had lent him...he would use it to protect her. Protect the gentle captain he'd come to care for. That time he'd spent with the Alliance, he'd been a puppet, a doll with no free will of his own. All that had happened since, with him making the choice to stay in Orb, to be with her, to protect her - it had been his own will. What _he_ wanted to do. Here, he wasn't Neo Lorrnoke, at least, not the one he'd been before. Here, he was someone different...he could be whoever he wanted to be. _And I want to be the someone to take care of her. I might not be her Mwu, but if he felt at least half as strongly about her as I do, then he must have loved her very much. I'm sure he wouldn't mind me looking after her for him..._

He'd looked all over for her...and finally found her. She'd been standing there on the observation deck, one small hand pressed to the glass window, chocolate brown hair drifting about her shoulders in the zero-gravity, expression sad, but happy at the same time.

"Captain?"

She jumped a little, turning quickly to see him standing there leaning against the wall. "Oh, Colonel! W-welcome back.." Her porcelain complexion pinked slightly, a faint blush, and he grinned.

"Something interesting out there?" he asked, floating up to stand beside her and gaze out into space, just as she had been. Outside the ship was the vast panorama of stars, the endlessness only broken by the odd piece of wreckage moving past...nothing that would have captured her interest...which made Neo wonder whether her focus had been inward, rather than outward.

"I was thinking," she replied, voice soft. "About what happens now, where we go from here...all kinds of things..."

"Won't the ship be going back to Orb? That's your home, isn't it?" he asked, noting how solemn she seemed. After a moment, she nodded, and he smiled again. "And there's peace now. Or at least a ceasefire. So why worry?"

The captain smiled too, if only a little. "I do want to go home," she admitted. "I suppose that now I have the chance to, I should just relax..." She closed her eyes for a second, then looked up at him, those dark golden eyes seeming to gaze straight into his heart, just like always.

"What about you?" she asked, the concern returning to her face. "Where will you go?"

"I have nowhere else," Neo replied, also placing a hand on the window. "I joined the Orb military, so I guess that Orb's _my_ home too now, if they'll have me.."

"I'm sure they will," she said softly, pink stealing into her cheeks again. "Would you be happy there?"

He nodded, azure eyes moving from the vista of stars to light on her. "It's a beautiful place. Very peaceful.." He laughed a little. "That might take a bit of getting used to.."

"We can help you with that," was her reply. "I'm sure Cagalli-san will be able to find you a place to live, and the military are always looking for test pilots..."

"Would _you_ be happy?" Neo asked suddenly, causing her to blink. "If I came to live in Orb with everyone else? With...you?"

The captain blushed again, a deeper pink than previously, and for a moment she didn't answer. Then she nodded fractionally.

"I'd like that...very much.." she whispered.

Neo smiled gently. He knew how lonely she was, probably better than anyone else on the ship...because his loneliness was just as deep. Neither of them had anyone they were particularly close to, even though she had her friends...and they had found companionship in each other. She was his best friend, and also the one he loved, and even though their duty on this ship was almost over, he still wanted to stay by her side, just as he had asked when they were in Orb.

_I want to stay by your side forever..._

"When we do get back to Orb, back...home, will you show me around? Show me the sights, the best places to grab a cup of coffee, that kind of thing?" he asked, inwardly chuckling when the captain immediately flushed poppy red.

_That's right. I'm asking you out. I want to see my new home, sure enough, but more than that..I want to see what you're like when you're not being a soldier. I want to see who you really are, and perhaps at the same time, you could show me who **I **really am..._

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( XD

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	2. Chapter 2

"So, have you settled back in now?"

She nodded, accepting the cup he offered her. After _Archangel_'s return to Orb, Cagalli-san had found her a new place to live, a little house in a quiet neighbourhood with a picturesque view of the ocean. It wasn't far from the rebuilt beach house where Kira-kun and Lacus-san lived, and most evenings found her walking over the white sand to visit the young couple, and play with the orphan children. The familiarity of it all had helped her readjust to a peaceful life, as had her return to work at Morgenroete. Things were just the same as they had been before she'd left.

Well, almost.

Because now..._he_ was here.

When _Archangel_ had returned home, he had come with them. It made sense, of course...he had nowhere else to go, and he was as much a part of her crew as the others. It just felt..a little odd, that was all. _He looks and acts so much like Mwu, that sometimes it's very easy to forget that he _isn't _Mwu. I still don't really know how to act around him. He's my friend, I know that, but sometimes I just want to hold him close...to be with him, and I can't._

Lost in her own thoughts, Murrue sighed a little, thin fingers playing with the china cup her friend had given her, the steam rising from the fragrant coffee it contained. The light sea breeze blew across the tiny garden, causing her dark hair to flutter, but she hardly noticed it, her attention focused inward. Noticing this, her friend leaned forward and placed a kind hand on her shoulder, snapping her from her daydream.

"Don't worry so much. He might not remember, but he does care about you.."

Flushing, she stared back into her cup of coffee. "I..."

Andrew smiled, but the expression was a little sad. He'd seen him, of course, the man who looked so like Commander La Fllaga, yet wasn't him, and he could well understand how confused Captain - no, _Miss_ Ramius must be. It was clear that she was still very much in love with La Fllaga, and Colonel Lorrnoke's presence both lightened her heart - and weighed it down. And if she knew how Andrew himself felt about her...it would only make things harder for her. He did want to tell her, to perhaps cure the loneliness they both still felt, but he had the feeling that the one for Miss Ramius wouldn't be him. _It hurts, but I need to sit back and let this play out. It's clear by the way Lorrnoke looks at her that he loves her..._

"How's he coping with life here?" he asked idly, knowing smile curving his lips as Miss Ramius' blush deepened.

"H-he seems to be all right," she murmured, tucking a lock of auburn hair behind one ear. "Cagalli-san found him a place to live, and he's working as a test pilot for the military..." She smiled a little, setting her cup down, and focused an amber gaze on the horizon. She remembered the delight on his handsome face as he'd caught his first proper glimpse of the country that had become his new home. They'd been standing on the outer deck as _Archangel _had arrived back in Orb a few days ago...

_"Is that it?" he asked, azure eyes wide in fascination. "I didn't get to see it much the last time. It really is beautiful.." He leaned forward on the deck railing to gaze at the island nation, a happy smile on his scarred face. He looked so handsome in that moment, that Murrue found herself glancing away, her own face burning. **Stop that. You know he's not Mwu...** But she couldn't stop her heart from fluttering whenever she looked at him. **It's just because he looks like him, that's all...** _

_"What's wrong?" he asked, looking up at her, his familiar-but-not-familiar face expressing concern. "Are you all right?"_

_"Y-yes.." she murmured, hating how her voice stuttered. "Thank you, I'm fine.." He smiled, obviously relieved. "That's good.." He stood up straight and stretched, his long blonde hair blowing back in the breeze..and she couldn't help but smile back._

_"So...can you help me?" he asked, attention still focused on his new home. "Once we've settled in a bit, will you show me around?"_

_Blushing again without knowing why, all she could do was nod._

"He wants to go exploring," Murrue said softly. "He asked me if I would show him around..." Hearing Andrew's laughter, she glanced back at him in surprise. "What is it?"

"He asked you out," remarked her friend. "He could have asked anyone to show him around, taken a tour bus, or even explored on his own..but he asked _you_, because he wants to be with you.." The young woman nodded, knowing her face must be crimson. She'd known. His hopeful smile when he'd asked her, the light in his blue eyes...his idea of 'exploring' had been 'look around a bit while out together'...but she hadn't turned him down.

Sighing, she leaned back on the small garden chair, gazing up at the brilliant blue sky. _I wanted this, probably as much as I didn't want it. I want to keep my heart only for Mwu, keep it locked away where no-one else can find it...but that same heart is telling me that the Colonel **is **Mwu...he just doesn't remember it. I want to keep my distance, but the more I try to stay away, the more I'm drawn to him..._

A few days later, her cellphone rang early in the morning. The shrill sound jarred her from a comfortable sleep, and she groaned, fumbling blindly for the metallic object on the nightstand.

"...hello?"

_"Good morning!"_ The voice was cheerful, sunny...and instantly familiar.

"Colonel? How did you get my number?"

He didn't answer that, just chuckled, the merry sound bringing back dozens of memories. Closing her eyes, Murrue flopped back onto her pillows, gazing up at the ceiling. The clock by the bedside read 7.30 AM...and it was the weekend. _That_ part of him certainly wasn't like Mwu...

_"Are you free today?" _he asked, a note of hope in his voice. _"Cause...I was thinking that maybe we could go out exploring today. In the city..."_

"Sure," she replied, stifling a yawn. "That sounds okay. Where do you want to meet? There's a clock tower in the main city square, how about there?"

_"That sounds good. I'll meet you there!" _There was a 'click' as he hung up, and she sighed...then giggled. Impatient as always. Stretching out, she climbed from her bed and made her way to the shower, humming gently to herself. Despite herself, she'd been looking forward to this day ever since they'd come home.

The city was hot and crowded, and as Murrue made her way through the streets, she bought a vanilla ice-cream cone, happily nibbling on the frozen treat. How long had it been since she'd let herself enjoy something as simple as this? Just having a day out in her adopted home city, spending the time with ice-cream...and friends. Smiling, she shook her head, stretching out her arms. Silly, but wasn't that what they'd gone back to fight for? Just to have the chance to live a peaceful life?

"Cap - Murrue-san!" The voice was friendly and familiar, and the young woman turned to see Miriallia Haww running towards her, bag blown out behind her in the wind. "Miriallia-san! How are you?"

"Just fine," replied the girl, falling into step beside her older friend. "Just shopping. What about you?"

"Me? I'm here...to meet someone," Murrue said softly, cheeks tinged a soft rose. Miriallia-san was instantly suspicious, just as Murrue had known she would be.

"Meeting someone? Who cou...wait. I know who it is.." The girl's grin grew sly. "Let me guess. He's blonde, stands about _this_ tall.." (she stood up on her tiptoes and held up a hand above her head) "he has blue eyes, and a scar right across his nose. How close am I?"

Murrue's blush deepened. "I..well...I..."

Miriallia-san laughed in delight. "You're _dating _him!"

"N-no! It's nothing like that!" protested the older woman, knowing full well her face must be crimson by now. "H-he asked me to show him around, that's all. He's never lived anywhere like this before...or at least, he doesn't remember it. I just wanted to help him, that's all..."

Miriallia clearly wasn't convinced. "That might be what he told you, but I don't buy it. The Colonel..his mind might not remember you, but his heart does. He didn't ask you to show him the city, he asked you out on a date." And not one of Murrue's protests would change her mind. When they reached the clock tower, Miriallia took her leave of Murrue, whispering in her ear, "Have fun.."

And there he was. Sitting on a bench, long blonde hair drifting in the breeze, wearing a blue shirt to match those eyes which were alight with childlike curiosity...and he looked so handsome, that Murrue found herself ducking around a corner and simply peeking at him, enjoying the guilty pleasure of watching him.

"Hello," he said softly without turning around. "I'm glad you're here. I wasn't sure if you'd turn up.." Her eyes widened. _How...did he know I was here?_ Sighing, she swallowed her nervousness, and stepped out of her hiding place, gingerly sitting down beside him. The Colonel smiled gently, clearly pleased she was there.

"You...look nice," he murmured, sounding almost shy. "That colour suits you.." Murrue blushed, gaze fixed on her sandalled feet. She'd picked out the red blouse that morning...remembering people telling her that it was her colour. Despite her embarrassment, she'd _wanted_ to look good for him. She'd _wanted_ him to notice her...

"T-thank you.." she said, voice barely above a whisper. "Shall we go? There's a lot to see.."

They spent the day together in the city, walking side-by-side through the busy streets. The Colonel's scarred face wore a happy smile as he learned about his new home, and Murrue found herself smiling too, his enthusiasm contagious. She pointed out the various landmarks: the seat of government, the island of Onogoro where the Morgenroete facility was located, the park in the centre of the city...everything a tourist would want to see. But it seemed as though he was waiting for something else, and her suspicions were confirmed when he turned to her with a smile.

"Okay, now I've seen where everyone else likes to go. But where do _you_ like to go? What's _your_ favourite place?"

She sighed, but smiled, turning down a quiet alleyway a short way up the street, into a small courtyard. A fountain played in the centre, sending jets of water dancing in the hot air, and a few people milled about, ice-creams in their hands. The Colonel smiled again. "This is nice. Do you come here a lot?"

Nodding, Murrue led him to the ice-cream vendor, buying two vanilla cones with chocolate fudge syrup. The blonde man blinked in surprise as she handed him one of the cones, and he peered at it. "What's this?"

"Ice-cream," she replied softly, nibbling at her own cone. _He doesn't remember ice-cream? What kind of a life has he had?_ "Go on, eat it. It's nice.."

Hesitantly, he licked the ice-cream...and a broad delighted smile spread over his face. He didn't say anything...he didn't have to. Happily, he sat down on the edge of the fountain and quickly devoured the treat, only looking up when he heard her laughing. He was taken aback for a moment, then he too started laughing, the merry chuckle filling the quiet courtyard. The other people there turned to watch them in confusion, these two people laughing at nothing - these two people rediscovering happiness.

"I never heard you laugh before," he said later. After their walk around the city, he had decided to go walk along the beach. He walked barefoot, toes sinking into the sand...and Murrue had never seen him happier. This life, this peace...perhaps he deserved it more than any of them, because he'd never known what it was like. At his words, she smiled a little, slipping off her sandals.

"I wasn't too happy before," she replied, hoping he'd leave it at that, but knowing he wouldn't.

"You've been very lonely, haven't you?" he asked softly, blonde hair blowing across his face. She didn't answer for a moment, instead listening to the cry of the sea birds. Then finally, she nodded.

"Yes," she answered, amber gaze fixed on the white sand. "I have. But so have you."

"But maybe neither of us has to be anymore," he said, moving around to face her. His smile was gentle and kind, and Murrue found herself blushing again. Reaching out, he took one of her hands between both of his.

"We've both been lonely...but now we have each other. You're my best friend, and I'd like...for you to be more than that, but I won't ever force you. I just..."

She closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears from welling up. Her heart was racing, her head spinning...and she didn't know how to answer. "I...I don't know," she finally whispered, a single tear sliding down a flushed cheek. "Please...I..."

"You need time?" he asked softly, and she nodded, hiccupping slightly. "Take all the time you need. I'll still be here. And whatever you choose, I'll be happy with it, okay?"

"Okay.." she replied shakily, glancing up when he gently brushed away the tears from her face. He was smiling still, and the expression reminded her so much of Mwu that she couldn't help crying again, letting him pull her into his embrace and hold her close.

_You're not Mwu, and I've almost accepted that I'm never going to see him again. But that doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would._

_Because I think...I'm falling in love with you..._

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( :scuffs toe on floor: It okay?

Please read and review! )


	3. Chapter 3

She sat alone in her garden staring at the sparkling ocean, watering can sitting forgotten by her side. She'd come out here to water her roses, but instead had found herself sitting on the lawn, lost in thought. She'd been like this for several days, ever since that day she'd spent in the city with _him_. He'd told her that she was his best friend, and that had made her happy. His loneliness had been clear to see, easy for _her_ to see, because she was just as lonely herself. And what he'd said after that...She sighed, flopping backwards onto the grass and staring up at the sky. He wanted to be...more than friends.

_It's such a tempting thought. I'd be lying if I said I didn't care about him, but..._ Murrue closed her eyes, cupping a hand over her eyes. What did she do? She did care for the Colonel...he was kind, funny and brave - but she still loved Mwu. The two men were so similar, but at the same time different...and her heart didn't know what it wanted. She'd promised herself after the first war had ended that she would wait for Mwu, however long it took before she saw him again. But what if the Colonel really _was_ Mwu? What if he'd been given back to her...just not remembered it? If she turned him down, would she lose that chance at happiness?

_What do I do? Why do things have to be so complicated?_

"It's not complicated at all, Murrue-san,"

She glanced up at that, surprised. She'd gone to see Kira-kun and Lacus-san later in the evening, hoping that her young friends might be able to help her. Kira-kun's answer had been simple, as though it were obvious.

"It isn't?" she asked, focusing amber eyes on the starry sky. "I wish I could be as certain as you..." Kira laughed softly, sitting down on the sand beside her.

"He's still Mwu-san inside," he said, also looking at the stars. "Whether he remembers or not. You know that too, don't you?" He tapped his chest, above his heart. "Something in here perhaps, the spark in his eyes..._something_ there lets you know that he's Mwu-san.." The young man's statement caused her a lot of thought - he was so sure, and the things he said made sense. Often on _Archangel_, she'd been convinced that the Colonel really was her Mwu, without knowing why...there was just _something_ there, like Kira-kun said. But there was still one unanswered question, one which worried her the most. If she did accept the Colonel, begin a relationship with him, and he _wasn't_ Mwu...would Mwu be sad that she hadn't waited for him like she promised?

Her two young friends listened to her halting question, then smiled, Lacus-san leaning forward to hug her. "Don't worry about that, Murrue-san. I think in your heart, you know that he is Commander La Fllaga. But even if he wasn't, I'm sure the Commander wouldn't mind..." Kira-kun nodded. "Mwu-san loved you...you know he'd want you to be happy..."

And she did. Mwu had told her that if something happened to him and she was left alone, he wanted her to find someone else to love, someone who would make her happy. In the two years previously, she hadn't even wanted to consider it...but now she'd met _him_. And she cared about him. It might not be love yet, but it could very easily grow to become it. But there was still the worry that she only cared for him because he was so like her beloved Mwu. That was a question she didn't know how to answer, and didn't want to ask Kira-kun and Lacus-san...she needed more help, perhaps from someone a little older.

"Erica? Can...I talk to you for a moment?"

The director of the Morgenroete facility glanced up from her desk and paperwork, a friendly smile crossing her face as she saw the younger woman standing in the doorway. "Murrue? Yes, of course. Take a seat."

A little shyly, the auburn-haired woman sat down in the chair opposite, gaze focused on her lap. "I-I wanted to ask your advice," she murmured quietly. "Someone I know - someone I care about...wants to be with me. And I think I want...to be with him too, but there's something that worries me.."

"Are you worried about what Commander La Fllaga would think?" asked her friend gently. "You know he'd want you to be happy.." Murrue nodded, smiling a little. "I know he would. That's not what I'm worried about. This person, he..." Her voice trailed off. "I need to know that I care about _him_, and not the person he looks like. If I was with him just because of that, it wouldn't be fair on him.."

Erica laughed, the sound kind. "I see. This person, he's Colonel Lorrnoke, isn't he? The man who looks like the Commander. I can see why that would be hard, with him being almost identical to someone you loved. But it's the inside that's important, you know that.."

Murrue nodded. "He's very like Mwu, but at the same time, he isn't. He's kind, funny, gentle...but there's something different about him, like a sort of sadness, an emptiness. I think that he must be very lonely..." She glanced up when Erica placed a hand over hers.

"Then he's like you," she said, aqua eyes soft. "You can see his loneliness because it's like your own. You need this, Murrue, and it sounds like he needs it just as much. Don't run away from happiness. If anyone deserves it, it's you.."

_Companionship...togetherness, that's what I need, what Erica was telling me to find. I know she's right. I need someone to share my life with. I don't want to be alone anymore, and neither does he..._

He was sitting on the sea wall, staring out at the ocean. He found himself doing this most evenings after work...it helped clear his head. _The sea air helps me think...something which I've been doing more and more often these days. It's been kinda tough adjusting to a place like this...to peace. Weird to think that someone like me could have a life like this. But I'd never give it...or her, up for the world. _He smiled a little, swinging his legs rather childishly as he sat on the wall. People walked across the white sand, children running through the surf, and couples shared private jokes as they strolled together hand-in-hand. Neo studied them idly as he sat there...everyone here was so carefree.

_Maybe one day, she and I could walk together here like this? _That was a nice thought...a very nice one, and he hoped more than anything that it would happen some day. She'd asked him to give her time, and he could well understand why. He'd heard about Mwu, of course, the man who looked so much like him. And he'd heard that she'd loved him very much. Of course she'd wanted more time. Who wouldn't?

_I shouldn't have said anything, I know that. I should have just waited to see what would happen. But I couldn't hide the way I felt anymore. I want to be with her, to see if we can find the cure for loneliness together. But most of all, I want her to love me the way I love her...want to see her smile, her happiness..._

Selfishness. He wanted to be loved, cared for. Like anyone else. But the one he loved was still in love with another, and no matter how much he wished for it, he couldn't change that. All he could do was wait. And he'd wait forever if he had to, give her all the time she needed.

"I wondered if I might find you here..." Her voice was soft, gentle, and he glanced up in surprise. She was standing there, bathed in the sun's fading light, gentle smile on her face. Her dark hair fluttered in the breeze, her cheeks were tinged pink...and she looked so beautiful that he almost forgot how to breathe for a moment. Coughing, he looked away, and heard her musical laughter as she came to sit beside him.

"How did you know I was here?" he asked after a moment, blue eyes trained on the sand. "I could have been anywhere..."

"This is where you seemed happiest last time," she replied, gazing up at the sunset. "I figured that if you'd be anywhere, you'd be here.."

_How can she know me so well? She's known me for how long...two months, tops? When did she learn to read me like that?_

"All right then..why did you look for me?" was his next question, and she smiled a little. Leaning back, she stretched out her arms above her head.

"Because I decided. I don't want to be alone anymore..."

Her answer wasn't what he'd expected, and Neo just stared at her in silence for a moment. "Really?" _She wants..to be with me?_

"Really." she replied. She blushed at his stare, hiding her flawless face behind a curtain of auburn hair. "I'd like...for us to get to know each other a little better," she said, voice barely above a whisper. "So neither of us has to be alone. It doesn't make much sense, I know, but..."

_Togetherness, _he realised. _That's what I want, and what she wants too. We're looking for something in each other, the parts of ourselves that are missing. I don't remember a thing before waking up in an Alliance hospital two and a half years ago, and you haven't let yourself love anyone since you lost Mwu. Maybe if we're together, we can both find what we lost?_

Slowly, Neo inched a hand towards hers, getting closer little by little, until his hand was resting on her smaller one. She glanced up in shock, golden eyes wide...but she didn't pull away. Instead, she curled her hand around his, holding on tightly.

The two of them sat there on the wall, hands entwined, for what felt like forever. The first step had been taken, and perhaps when the journey was over, both of them would have found what they'd been looking for...have found happiness.

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( :cry: this makes no sense whatsoever..

Please read and review! )


	4. Chapter 4

It had been a long day.

Carrying her red jacket under one arm, she made her way out of the Morgenroete facility, wincing at the bright sunlight outside after being underground for most of the day. Beside her, Erica grinned, shouldering her bag. "Tired?"

"A little," Murrue replied, stretching out her arms above her head until the protesting joints popped. "But I'm glad we were able to get everything done." Blinking, she gradually got used to the bright daylight...then blinked again as she saw someone standing there leaning against a wall. He was smiling, the cheerful expression lighting up his scarred face...and she found herself having to look away, cheeks growing hot. "Oh. H-hello.." she murmured, hating how her voice stuttered. _Why am I acting like a kid? It's just like before. All he has to do is smile, and I can't think straight! _Shaking her head to clear her muddled thoughts, she glanced back up at him shyly.

Beside her, Erica grinned, giving her a shove towards the man waiting. "Go on," she hissed, "he's been waiting for you.."

She nodded, smiling a little at the blonde man. The two of them had begun...dating, for lack of a better word, about a week ago, and things were going well. Part of it was about companionship, neither of them wanting to be alone anymore. Their similarity had also played a part in them becoming friends in the first place. They'd both kept themselves isolated from people, afraid of getting too close to anyone...and that had brought them together, as had the attraction they'd felt for each other. And despite having not wanted to be part of another relationship after losing her Mwu, Murrue wasn't able to deny that being with the Colonel made her happy.

"How come you waited for me?" she asked quietly, taking the hand he offered her and letting him walk her to her car. He smiled, squeezing her hand a little.

"I work here too, you know. I wanted to see you," he pointed out. "I tried to find you at lunchtime, but the Director said that you were busy. So I decided to wait for you after work."

She pinked, fixing her gaze on the ground. "I-I see," she replied. "Thank you." Looking up, she realised that they were at her car. "You want...to go out for a drink or something?" She was very aware of how long it had been since she'd dated anyone, and she couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Perhaps sensing this, the Colonel squeezed her hand again, giving her a reassuring smile.

"That sounds nice," he replied.

Which was how they came to be sitting out in the warm evening air a little while later, at a small cafe near the beach. Sipping at her iced coffee, she gazed at the ocean with a small smile, enjoying the view.

"You like it here, don't you?" she asked softly. "This place, this life, it suits you.." Which was true enough. It was clear that some things still bothered him, as sometimes his scarred face would acquire a lost and lonely look, as though he were thinking of something that made him sad. But he'd never tell her what it was. _He never tells me anything that's bothering him. I can see it in his eyes, but he won't talk about it. And because of that, I'm not able to talk to him properly. It's like there's an invisible wall between us. I want...to be with him, but will it really work out?_

"I don't remember having a home before," he replied, azure eyes focused on his soda. "It's a nice feeling, to know you belong somewhere. It feels kinda weird, but I'm getting used to it.." _After all, when all you've known is a soldier's life, peace is oddly difficult to adjust to. I'm happy though. I have a place to live, a job to go to...and I can spend time with her. It is difficult sometimes though...because she keeps things hidden from me. I can see that she's hiding something, but I don't know what it is. I love her, and I want to be with her, but it feels like I can't talk to her..._

She smiled at that, reaching across the cafe table to squeeze his hand. "Things will settle down. Peace, and knowing that you have a home...it's the best feeling in the world, I promise.." Neo smiled back, returning the pressure. He was still worried, but her smile made him feel instantly better._ I wonder if there's someone I can talk to? Someone who knows her well..._

"There's nothing to worry about. I think that Murrue-san's just a little worried, that's all.." The girl's words were solemn, but her pale face wore a serene smile.

Neo sighed a little, leaning back and gazing at the stars. "I don't know much about this Mwu, but it feels like I'm living in his shadow. I know that I look like him, and that sometimes I act like him. Hell, I might even turn out to be him. But for the moment, I'm me. I want her to see me as I am, not who I look like.."

"She already has," replied the young woman gently, brushing a lock of pink hair over one shoulder. "I don't think that's what she's worried about. I think she's worried about _you_."

"Me?" he asked, puzzled. "Why?"

"There's something troubling you, isn't there? Something you don't want to talk to anyone about?" asked the girl, picking up her teacup. "Kira noticed it first, I think. That there's something you're keeping hidden. And if he can see it, then Murrue-san certainly can. She cares about you a great deal.."

"But she keeps things hidden from me," Neo protested. "I don't know what to say to her sometimes.."

"She cares about you, and it's clear you feel the same for her. Talk to her. I'm sure you can work things out.."

She was sitting outside in her garden when he found her. Pale face turned up to the night sky, amber eyes reflecting the light of billions of stars...and despite his concern, he couldn't help but smile. "Captain?" he asked softly, peeking over the fence.

She blinked, startled for a moment. "Colonel? What are you doing here?"

"The kid and the princess told me where to find you. Can...can we talk?"

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded, gesturing to the garden gate. Smiling, Neo let himself in, and crossed the well-kept lawn to sit down beside her, looking up to watch the same stars she did.

"What..did you want to talk about?" she asked after a moment. He grinned wryly. Straight to the point as usual, without even giving him time to enjoy the evening with her...

"I...I'm sorry I'm not able to tell you some things yet," he murmured. She glanced up at him in surprise, but didn't say anything, just took his hand and squeezed gently. Reassured, he continued. "The things I keep hidden...are things that I never want anyone to know about. They're my problem. My cross, if you like. I know that...if we're going to be together, I should tell you, but right now, I can't. The important thing is that I care about you, and I want to be with you. So don't worry, okay? Now...will you tell me what you're keeping hidden?"

She seemed taken aback for a moment, then sighed and smiled a little.

"I was...worried about you. You look so sad and lost sometimes, and I wanted to ask you why.." Her voice was faint and quiet, and he slipped an arm around her shoulders to reassure her.

"I was worried...because you were worried," she finished, pinking. "I...I...You're...important to me, and I don't like to see you sad.." Neo grinned, delighted, and without even thinking, wrapped his arms around her waist in a tight hug. She squeaked in alarm, but made no real effort to escape, even when he nuzzled his face into her neck.

"Thank you...Murrue-san."

* * *

( Uhh...Incoherence...ftw?

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	5. Chapter 5

Like most mornings, this one found him standing at the window of his apartment, the sunlight streaming through the glass. Taking a sip of his coffee, he smiled a little as the steam caressed his scarred face. It had been two months since Archangel had returned to Orb, and most of her crew had quickly settled back into a peaceful life. It's taken me a bit longer, though... He'd been that used to being a soldier, that this kind of life had been difficult to adjust to. But he'd had help. He'd been given a job at the Morgenroete facility as a test pilot, and the reassuring familiarity of that role had helped him a great deal. He'd also had friends...and he had her. Murrue-san. To tell the truth, the main reason he was happy here was because she was also here. He still wasn't sure why he'd been so drawn to her...why he'd fallen for her so quickly, but he wasn't able to change the way he felt. He loved her.

_We've been dating for a while now. We see each other quite a lot, whether we spend our lunch breaks together, or go out for a drink after work. We had some problems at first, but everything's okay now. I can understand why she was reluctant at first...anyone would be after losing the one they loved. I'd feel the same way. _She had smiled before, but there had always been that underlying sadness, and worry about getting too close to someone in case she lost them again. And for him, there had always been that fear that she was comparing him to the one she'd lost..that he'd never be able to win her heart.

But a couple of weeks ago, they'd talked out their problems, sitting together in her garden. He'd reassured her that he'd never try to replace her Mwu, that he'd never take things faster than she wanted them to go, and she'd seemed relieved at that, and apologised if she'd been cold towards him.

_"I'm sorry. You've been so kind, and I've been pushing you away..." _she'd said, dark golden eyes trained on her lap. He'd smiled, hugging her a little tighter, and rested his chin on her shoulder.

_"No you haven't. It's understandable. Anyone would feel the same way. Whatever happens between us, it'll never be more than you want to happen, okay? I promise..."_

Since that evening, they'd gotten closer, being a lot more comfortable in each other's presence. Murrue-san smiled and laughed around him, letting him hug her and hold her hand, and several of her friends had commented on how happy she was now...and also how happy he seemed. _And it's true. Before, in the Alliance, I never really smiled. I didn't have much to smile about. But now I have her. _Chuckling to himself, Neo set down his coffee mug and stretched out his arms above his head before moving back into the tiny apartment's bedroom to get ready for work. He'd arranged to meet Murrue-san before work to get some breakfast at the cafeteria, and he didn't want to be late.

_I already overslept this morning as it is. Those dreams..._ Scrubbing his face with both hands, he made his way into the bathroom to set the shower running. For the last few weeks, he'd been having dreams, the images he'd been seeing growing clearer with each night that passed. Glimpses of a small room in half-darkness, flashes of creamy skin and dark hair, the sound of whispers and giggles...the feel of material and soft skin against his own. The dreams were far from unpleasant - in fact they were _so_ pleasant, that Neo found himself oversleeping most mornings.

Sighing, he tipped his head back, letting the hot water run through his long blonde hair. _The person in those dreams...it's her. Murrue-san. It could be wishful thinking, but it feels like more than that. Like they're...memories. Like it actually happened._

He wanted to tell her about the dreams, but he'd also promised her to take things slowly. One day, perhaps, he'd be able to talk to her about them, but not yet.

He was late again. Checking her watch for the dozenth time, she huffed, folding her arms and leaning against her car. He'd agreed to meet her this morning for breakfast before work, but with the way things were going, they wouldn't have time._ I'll give him two more minutes, and if he isn't here, I'm going without him._ The two of them had got closer since that evening under the stars a couple of weeks ago, and Murrue felt much more comfortable and happy around him. He was caring, kind and gentle, if a little irresponsible...and so like her Mwu. Before, that would have made her sad, the memories painful. But now, instead of his similarity to Mwu causing pain, it caused feelings of comfort - the thought that part of her beloved still existed in some form.

So lost in thought was she, that she never noticed quiet footsteps creeping up behind her...until a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her into a warm embrace. Squeaking in alarm, Murrue struggled to turn and look up at her captor - who turned out to be exactly who she'd expected it to be.

He chuckled softly, the smile on his scarred face so infectious that despite her annoyance, she couldn't help smiling back. "You're late," she scolded gently. "But good morning."

"Good morning, Murrue-san," he replied cheerfully, the use of her first name causing her to blush, just like always. She hadn't given him permission to use it, of course, but somehow it didn't seem to matter. Wriggling out of his grasp, cheeks crimson, she began to walk towards the Morgenroete facility, only for him to follow her, catching her small hand in his large one. "What do you want for breakfast?" he asked. "Pick anything you like. It's on me.."

"You bought breakfast yesterday," she said mildly. "Doesn't that make it my turn this morning? What do you want?"

"Nah," he said, shaking his head and pulling her along behind him. "I'm buying. C'mon."

"What is it?" he asked after breakfast, and she just sighed, a rueful smile curving her lips.

"Nothing. I just can't believe how much you eat." Which was true enough. In the half-hour they'd been in the cafeteria, the blonde man had managed to polish off a large plate of bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, fried bread and goodness knows what else, and still had enough room for a plate of buttered toast and a mug of hot coffee.

He looked down at the empty plate, and grinned sheepishly. "Heh. Sorry. I tend to stock up at breakfast and make it last 'till dinner."

Murrue just raised an eyebrow, picking at her own small plate of bacon and eggs. "And what will dinner be?"

"Probably takeout." he replied, taking another swig of coffee. "Maybe call for pizza."

"That's it?" she asked, taking another bite of her food. "Just pizza? Why not make something?"

The man gazed at his plate, cheeks faintly pink. "I..I'm not so good at cooking," he admitted, obviously embarrassed. "I can fix myself simple stuff, but nothing adventurous. Dumb, huh?"

She had to smile. Somehow, she'd been able to picture him not being able to cook that well. Finishing her breakfast, she sipped at her coffee, her smile growing as an idea occured to her.

"What's your favourite food?" she asked idly. "Something you like.."

"Pasta," he replied with a smile of his own. "That I can make. Pasta, with sauce. Lonely though.."

"Lonely?" Murrue asked, drinking the last of her coffee. "That's an odd thing to say. Why is it lonely?"

"Cause pasta's meant to be shared," was his answer. "Don't you think?" He leaned back in the chair and gazed at the harsh white ceiling, blue eyes thoughtful. "To be shared by lots of people.."

"How about two?" she asked. "After work, if you want, you can come over to my house, and I'll cook us both dinner. That sound okay?"

She got her answer when his scarred face lit up in a delighted smile.

* * *

That evening, he stood outside the white-painted front door of the little house, taking deep breaths to calm himself. He'd been here before, in the garden...but never inside the house. Scrubbing the nervous sweat from his forehead, he knocked on the door. After a few moments, it was opened, and she greeted him with that gentle smile that never failed to make his heart skip a beat.

"Good evening," she said softly, stepping aside to let him in. The kitchen was warm and inviting, painted a bright sunshine yellow, and smelled of tomato and basil. The pot of sauce was simmering on the stove, the pasta happily bubbling away in boiling water, and the effect was so comforting and homely that Neo felt his heart ache. T_his is what I want. To come home to a place like this, to know that someone will be waiting for me. I'm sick of being alone..._

"Are you all right?" Murrue-san's soft voice broke his train of self-pity, and he turned to smile at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just that...I've never been somewhere like this before..."

She nodded, understanding, and squeezed one of his hands between her two small ones. "Dinner will be ready soon. Go and make yourself comfortable. Do you want anything to drink?"

He shook his head. "No thanks. I'm fine." _Just being here with you is enough..._

The rest of the little house was just as comfortable as the kitchen. The sitting room was tiny, but cheering, decorated a pale red, the walls covered in pictures and photographs. Papers littered the wooden coffee table and red sofa, so many that Neo had to brush some aside before he could sit down. He heard gentle singing coming from the kitchen, and he smiled, closing his eyes. _This place is just like I imagined it. I always tried to picture what her house would be like inside, and it's just the same as I thought. Because I tried to imagine the place I would most like to live..._

Dinner was a quiet affair, punctuated only by a few short sentences about how good the food was, or the wine. The rest of the meal was spent in silence, a comfortable, easy silence shared by two close friends. Neo found himself watching her as he ate, noting the sweep-up of her chocolate-coloured hair exposing the pale skin of her neck and shoulder, and the way her pink blouse brought out the matching hue of her cheeks. _She's so beautiful..._ He didn't notice that in the moments he focused on his food, Murrue was also watching him, face reddening as she did so. Erica had teased her more than once about being so shy around the Colonel, so much so that she still wasn't able to use his first name. She knew her friend was right, but she was still caught between nervousness at getting too close, and the intense attraction she felt for him.

"Thank you," he said gently, causing her to look up at him.

"For what?" she replied shyly. "For dinner? That was no trouble.."

"For letting me in," was his answer, his expression one of kindness and gratitude. "It must have been tough getting used to all this, and I just wanted to thank you for accepting me.."

Murrue smiled, standing up and beginning to collect their empty plates. "You're welcome..." She was about to take the plates to the sink, when he caught hold of her wrist gently and tugged her toward him...and she was barely able to set the crockery down before his lips brushed against hers in a soft kiss. She squeaked a little, unprepared for this, or the electricity that shot up her spine at the simple touch. All she could do was return the kiss, amber eyes fluttering closed, and just wonder why it was this had taken so long to happen...

When they broke for air, he smiled up at her, tracing a blushing cheek with a finger. "Thank you..for that as well..." Murrue just nodded, blush deepening. Her heart was racing wildly, the rush of blood to her head making her dizzy, and she had to sit down for a moment.

Neo leaned back in his chair, taking a deep breath. His hand still held her wrist, and he worked his fingers down to catch hold of her hand and caress her fingers gently. When he had kissed her...it had been everything he'd imagined it would be. Her lips had tasted soft and sweet...and also familiar. For a moment, he'd seen a flash of something strange. A large room in dim light, water beyond the window...white uniforms and dark hair...and he'd felt like it hadn't been the first time he'd kissed her.

"Thank you, Murrue-san," he said again, bringing the hand he still held close for a kiss. She nodded again, smiling a little.

"Thank you...Neo-san..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( Fwee! Fluff!

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	6. Chapter 6

"He _kissed_ you?" Erica's blue eyes were wide as she stared at her friend over her mug of herbal tea. "On the lips?"

Murrue nodded, amber eyes focused on her coffee as she blew on the beverage gently to cool it. "Last night. I found out he wasn't able to cook, so he's been living on takeout ever since he came to live here. So since I cook dinner most evenings anyway, I invited him over..."

"Oho...a dinner date? Good for you," said Erica approvingly, sipping her tea. "I'm glad that the two of you have gotten together. We've been worried about you, you know. It's not good for you to be alone. And the Colonel really does care about you.."

"I know he does," the younger woman replied softly. "I can tell. It's been hard to come to terms with...I mean, I still love Mwu, and I always will...But I don't want to be alone forever.." A gentle smile curved her lips as she thought back to the previous night, of the time she and the blonde man had spent together. After their first kiss, the two of them had sat outside on the porch of her house, enjoying the warm evening and the company of each other. His arm had been around her waist, her head resting on his shoulder..and in simple terms, in that moment she'd had everything she wanted. A peaceful life, and someone to share it with.

"You're falling for him, aren't you?" Erica asked gently, smiling when Murrue blushed. "It's about time.."

"No," was the quiet answer.

The redhead was unconvinced. "No? I don't believe that. I've seen the way you two look at each other..."

"It's not that," said Murrue. Getting up, she walked to the office window and gazed out at the world, the sunlight sparkling off the ocean. "I'm not falling for him...I've already fallen. I...I love him." Closing her eyes, she rested her forehead against the window. "I haven't told him yet...I don't know how to. But it's true. When he smiles at me, my heart races, I feel dizzy, and my face feels like it's on fire. It's just the same as..."

"The same as you felt for Commander La Fllaga?" asked Erica, and Murrue nodded.

"I loved him so much, Erica. For a time after he left, I felt like joining him. I...I didn't want to love anyone again. But then..I met him..." She smiled again. "After everything I'd decided, everything my mind was telling me...my heart just wouldn't listen..."

"So what happens now?" was the next question.

"Well, we've planned to spend tomorrow at the beach," said the younger woman softly, pink racing into her cheeks. "Go for ice-cream, maybe out for dinner afterwards. It's a bit strange, as it's been a very long time since I've dated anyone. But I want this. I want to be happy. To not live in the past forever. I'll never be able to forget Mwu, or stop loving him...but I love him too.."

Erica just smiled, sipping her tea again. She was happy for her friend. After losing the Commander, Murrue had been so withdrawn and lonely. She'd rejected any thought of another becoming close to her, wanting to close her heart away and keep it only for her lost lover. Erica had been able to understand, of course. If she ever lost her husband, God forbid, she imagined that she'd act very like Murrue had. But Murrue...she was just the kind of person who wasn't meant to be alone. She needed someone. And looking at Colonel Lorrnoke, it was clear that he needed someone just as badly.

_He and Murrue...they're right for each other, and they'll be happy, I know it._

_

* * *

_The next morning found Murrue waiting outside her garden gate, clad in a floral sundress and clutching a picnic basket. She hadn't planned to bring anything originally, but earlier, on a whim, she'd prepared sandwiches and snacks, as well as fruit and coffee, and smiled at the thought of sharing it with him. A breeze blew through the quiet neighbourhood, threatening to blow away her straw sunhat, and she giggled, holding onto it tightly and enjoying the feel of the wind.

He was standing a little way away, watching her with a gentle smile. She hadn't noticed him yet, and he was content to watch her for as long as he could. She was wearing a floral dress and white sandals...and looked more beautiful than he'd ever seen her. She appeared contented and happy, which made his smile widen. _None of the sadness or worry from before...she just smiles and laughs, which I wanted to see more than anything... _For a moment, he entertained thoughts of not letting on he was there, of just standing and watching her a little longer, but he didn't get chance. Murrue-san glanced up, still trying to keep hold of her hat, and her face lit up in delight. "Oh, Neo-san!"

He chuckled, walking up to her . "Good morning. Ready to go?" She nodded happily, shifting her basket to one hand and taking his offered hand with the other.

"I made a picnic..." she said, cheeks pinking. "I thought that...we could share it.."

"That sounds great," he replied, leaning forward to kiss her gently. The young woman closed her eyes and returned the exchange, one hand reaching up to cup his cheek. The kiss was careful, but sweet, and both smiled when they broke, Neo caressing her face with a gentle finger. "C'mon," he said with a smile. "Let's go.."

It being the weekend, and the weather being glorious, the beach was pretty crowded. People of all ages lined the white sand, laughing and talking, sharing ice-cream, and swimming in the blue ocean. The two of them found a space to set out colourful towels, and sat down there amidst the crowds of people, enjoying the day. Happily, Murrue stretched out her arms with a sigh, tugging at the skirt of her dress to expose her bare legs to the sunlight before flopping backwards onto the towel.

"It's been a long time since I did this," she admitted, brushing a lock of auburn hair from her face. "I'd forgotten how nice it feels.." Neo was quiet, blue eyes closed, and a serene smile curved his lips. The warm breeze blew across his face, carrying the trace of salt and ruffling long blonde hair. The wind and sunlight were so pleasant, and so different from what he'd been used to, that all he could do was smile. Murrue noticed this, and reached out to take his hand, squeezing gently.

"Did you ever get chance to do this?" she asked softly, causing him to look down at her. "Just spend time by the sea and relax?"

"Not really," he replied, reaching to wind a lock of her hair around a finger. "There was never the time. Or the right person to enjoy it with..."

She blushed slightly, the rose pink tinting her cheeks, and smiled, settling back and closing her eyes. "We can come down here more often then," she offered. "Spend the weekends here?" In truth, she was pleased by the change in him since they'd been here. The sea air brought colour to his cheeks and seemed to lift his spirits, which were already high since he'd come to live here. At her words, his smile widened, and he lay back on his own towel, hand still clasping hers.

"I'd like that," he replied softly, shielding scarred face from the hot sun with the other arm. "Being here...it really does feel like home now.."

A few hours later, the two of them shared the picnic she'd made that morning. Neo happily ate his way through several of the sandwiches, some of the fruit, and most of the cookies she'd packed, before Murrue even had time to finish two of her own sandwiches. All she could do was raise an eyebrow at his appetite, and be glad she'd thought to pack enough. "I was going to get ice-cream later," she remarked. "But with the amount you've eaten, you probably won't want any..."

Neo's face fell, happiness being replaced by an almost boyish disappointment, exactly as though he'd had his favourite toy taken away. "But..." he began, and Murrue giggled, taking the last cookie. Ever since his first taste of it that day in the city, Neo-san had loved ice-cream, and all she had to do to make him smile since that day was to either treat him to some...or smile herself.

"Okay, okay, we can get some later," she said with a put-on sigh, finding it hard to suppress more laughter. _He's such a child...so like him... _Finishing his cookies, the blonde man got to his feet and took her hand, pulling her to her feet. "C'mon!"

"We're getting ice-cream now?" she asked, but he shook his head. Instead, he pulled her towards the sparkling blue ocean, rolling up his jeans with his other hand. Digging the toes of his bare feet into the fine white sand, he ran full tilt into the shallow waves, laughing all the time. Murrue laughed too, kicking some of the surf at him, until he caught her by the waist and lifted her into the air, swinging her around before bringing her close for a kiss.

_He's so happy here...and finding his happiness helped me find mine. And one day..I'll be able to tell him._

* * *

( Very random lol.

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	7. Chapter 7

She wasn't there. Normally when he arrived at work, on foot since he only lived a short distance away, she would be there, leaning on her little red car, waiting for him. Sometimes she'd be frowning, ready to scold him for being late, but more often than not, she'd smile when she saw him, and accept his kiss. But today, she wasn't there, nor was her car...and that worried him. Murrue-san always came to work, even when she wasn't feeling her best....it was just the sort of person she was. For her to not show up...he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Shaking his head, he made his way into the Morgenroete facility. _Maybe she slept in, and she'll show up later? It's not like her, but nobody's perfect, right?_

Trying to ignore the heavy feeling in his heart at not seeing her, Neo slowly made his way towards the testing area for the new mobile suits. Technicians and other pilots milled around, some waving when they saw him, and he waved back, though rather half-heartedly. The facility's director, Erica Simmons, was going over some notes on a clipboard with another mechanic, and glanced up when he approached. "Good morning, Colonel," she said, then her smile faded slightly. "Where's Murrue?"

"I don't know," Neo admitted, shoulders slumping. "She wasn't outside when I got here, and I don't have my cellphone with me right now to call her..."

Erica nodded, tugging her own phone out from her jacket pocket and dialling a number rapidly. She listened to the phone at the other end ringing continually, and frowned. "She's not answering. That's odd. And her answering machine is switched off..." Neo nodded, his earlier concern coming back.

"Do you think she's okay?" he asked softly, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his own jacket. "I mean...she always shows up for work, even when she's not feeling good. This...I don't know. It feels like there's something wrong.."

Erica watched the young man, a gentle smile crossing her face despite her worry for her friend. Murrue had mentioned the other day that she had fallen in love with the Colonel, her pale cheeks pinking at the words. Her gentle smile had made Erica happy...she hadn't seen Murrue smile like that for a very long time. And she could tell by his worry that the Colonel loved Murrue just as much. "Go and see," she said softly.

He blinked. "But I can't. I have work to do here..."

Erica just smiled. "If everything's all right, then come back here once you've found out." He nodded, and fairly ran out of the room, making the woman smile. _He's worried sick about her. He really is just what she needs..._

"Murrue-san? Murrue-san!"

He'd been knocking on the front door of the little house for several minutes, but she hadn't answered. The door was locked, curtains drawn, and her car was still in the driveway. So she must still be here. "Murrue-san!" There must be some way to get inside...Glancing around, Neo checked under the doormat, inside flowerpots and above the door lintel, searching for something that...ah, there it was. A spare key. Murrue-san was a very careful person. If she ever lost her door key, she was sure to have a spare somewhere...it was just the kind of person she was. Unlocking the door, he let himself in to the kitchen, listening intently for any sign of the young woman. Nothing. Shaking his head, he crept upstairs, hoping to God that she didn't think he was a burglar or something. "Murrue-san? Are you there?"

The bathroom and what appeared to be a spare room were both empty...leaving a closed door. Swallowing his nervousness, Neo opened the door, gazing into the room beyond.

It was painted a pale peach, the furniture pine, and the cream curtains were closed. The room, like the entire house, spoke to him of warmth and comfort, and he almost smiled, until the figure lying in the bed caught his attention. She was lying very still, eyes closed, auburn hair spilling over the pillow.

"Sleeping Beauty..." Tiptoeing forward, Neo knelt down beside the bed. His first instinct was to try and wake her, but something about her made him pause. She was sleeping, sure enough, but her sleep wasn't peaceful. Her cheeks were flushed hectic red, her slender form twisted in the covers, and her breathing was heavy...she was sick. Sighing, he laid a hand on her forehead, wincing when the heat from her skin almost burned his fingers. "Oh, Murrue..."

She'd seemed fine yesterday, just a little paler than usual - if she'd been sick, she hadn't let on. But then again, even if she had been sick, she'd have pretended everything was just fine. It's... He smiled. Just the way she is. Even though his memories hadn't returned, for some reason he knew just how Murrue-san acted, what she was thinking. Other people seemed to have trouble working out what the young woman was feeling...she kept everything hidden. But for some reason, he could see it. All she kept locked away, all the sadness and loneliness that others only caught glimpses of...he'd been able to see clearly.

_She's so strong. Hiding her pain so as not to worry her friends. But I can see it. I could see it back on the ship, and that's when I decided that more than anything, I wanted to see her smile. To be the one to make her smile._

And now she did. Murrue-san was happy, and that in turn made him happy. Smiling a little, Neo tucked the covers a little tighter around her sleeping form, before getting up to fetch cold water and a cloth from the tiny bathroom.

"Mmmm..." The cold cloth on her forehead seemed to calm her fever somewhat, though she was clearly still in a lot of discomfort. Her beautiful face was drawn into a frown, thin hands clutching her comforter, and she was shivering violently. Sitting beside her bed, Neo took one of her hands between both of his, squeezing gently, hoping to provide some comfort somehow. The warmth of his hands caused her to stir, and she gazed up at him, not quite awake. He smiled reassuringly, kissing her hand.

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly.

Murrue-san's amber eyes filled with tears, which surprised him somewhat, though not as much as her words.

"Mwu..."

Neo blinked. Mwu? Why was she...Then he noticed. Her eyes were glazed over in her sickness, as though she were looking at him, but not actually seeing him. In her mind..._In her mind, I'm him. Her Mwu. I guess it must be because we look alike..._

Whatever the reason, it hurt. But he wasn't about to let her know. Instead he just smiled, kissing her hand again. The young woman smiled back through the tears that had begun to fall. "I missed you so much," she whispered. "Will you be here long?"

"As long as I can," he replied, reaching out to brush her tears away. _She thinks he's come back to visit her..._

Murrue-san nodded slightly, closing her eyes. "I'm glad.." she murmured. "I'm so glad you're all right. For a little while...I wanted to come and find you..."

He sighed, squeezing her hand, and she seemed to understand. "I know," she said, voice barely above a breathy whisper. "You wouldn't have wanted that. So I decided that...that I'd just wait. Wait until..I saw you again. But..." She opened her eyes just a fraction, and tried to reach out to him with her other hand. But the attempt failed, and the hand fell back to the covers.

"You don't have to worry anymore," she said, thin fingers tightening around the hands that held it. "I do miss you, and I always will. But..." Her lips curved up in a gentle smile. "I'm okay. Because...I have someone else...and I love him...I'm happy with him. So don't worry..."

He sat there in stunned silence for what felt like hours after she'd fallen back asleep, still holding her hand tightly. He'd wanted to hear it...had dreamed of her saying it...but actually hearing it was another matter. Murrue-san loved him. Even though he wasn't Mwu, she loved him. Leaning forward, Neo gently kissed the sleeping woman's forehead, noting that her fever had subsided.

"Thank you.."

For some reason, even though she seemed to be over the worst of her sickness, he didn't want to leave just yet. Not until she woke up properly. Quietly, he fixed himself a cup of coffee, sat down on the outside doorstep to enjoy the sunlight, and proceeded to become lost in thought. What he found himself thinking about more and more often these days...was what this Mwu of hers had been like. He knew from the reactions of Murrue-san and the others that he both looked and sounded uncannily like him, and couldn't help but wonder what else he and the other man had in common, besides a love for Murrue-san. Closing his eyes, Neo leaned against the doorframe of the small house, trying to imagine.

And oddly enough, it wasn't difficult. No scars, and hair probably shorter than his own. Earth Alliance uniform, but white rather than black. It was easy to picture him with Murrue-san, although it caused him a slight twinge of jealousy. Cracking open one azure eye, he sighed, setting down the coffee mug and stretching out lazily.

Before long, he was asleep.

_"Mwu...Mwu.." The voice was soft and gentle..and instantly familiar. Grinning, he opened his eyes to see the slender figure leaning over him, reaching up with one hand to caress her thick dark hair. "Good morning, beautiful. Did you come to wake me up?"_

_She smiled, sitting down on the bed beside him and taking his hand, bringing it close to kiss his fingers._

_"It's not morning yet," she replied in a whisper. "Well, it is, but very early. I..I couldn't sleep..."_

_He smiled, hand drifting down from her hair to brush fingertips against her cheek. "Lonely, huh?"_

_She blushed, amber gaze dropping to her lap. "Don't tease me...it's not fair.." He chuckled at her embarrassment, lifting up the covers to let her slip in beside him. "C'mon.."_

_She accepted his offer, snuggling up to him with a contented sigh and resting her head on his shoulder. "You knew this would happen," she accused drowsily, wrapping an arm around his middle. "That's why you weren't asleep.."_

_"Yup."_

_"Jerk."_

_

* * *

_"Mmm..." Opening her eyes, she gazed around the room blearily, stretching out her arms. The sun shone brightly through the thin curtains of her bedroom, making the room feel warm and comforting. Yawning, she smiled, her eyes fluttering closed - then they snapped open again, she sitting up with a start. _This room faces west. If the sun's shining in here..that makes it evening. How long have I been asleep?_ Reaching out, Murrue grabbed the clock that sat on her bedside table...and groaned. 5.30 PM. Oversleeping would be an understatement. _Why would I sleep so late?_

Setting the clock back on the table, she frowned. Beside the phone sat a small jug of water and a cloth - which certainly hadn't been there last night. Confused, she climbed from the bed and donned her robe, wondering why it was she felt dizzy, before wandering downstairs.

The house was filled with fresh air, the back door wide open, which caused Murrue to panic at first...had someone broken in while she'd been asleep? But nothing seemed to be missing. In fact, the only things out of place were the kettle, which rested near the sink, and the sound of soft breathing coming from outside. What happened? Frowning a little, she stepped out of the open door into the sunlit garden - and couldn't help smiling. Sitting propped up against the outside wall, an empty coffee mug by his side, was Neo-san. Fast asleep. But why was he here?

_Wait. The oversleeping...the jug of water and cloth...was I sick? Is that why I felt dizzy when I got up? Did...did he take care of me?_ Brushing aside a lock of dark hair, Murrue knelt down beside the sleeping man, gazing at him as he slept. That was right, wasn't it? He had been there - or had he? She remembered waking up and seeing Mwu, or who she'd thought had been Mwu, sitting by her side.

_I talked to him, I think...yes, I did. I told Mwu how much I'd missed him, but that he didn't have to worry, because I'd found someone else I loved. I hope he understood..._

Then it hit her. Who she'd seen...it hadn't been Mwu. Neo-san had taken care of her while she was sick...she_ had _been sick. She'd woken up dizzy and in pain..and seen the person she least expected, but most wanted to see. Mwu. She'd wished for it ever since her feelings for Neo-san had grown to be more than friendship - the chance to say goodbye to her lover.

And she had...or at least, she'd thought she had. But it hadn't been Mwu, had it? It had been Neo-san.

Murrue's cheeks flamed scarlet. I...I told him I loved him... Covering her face with her hands, she sat down beside the sleeping man, realising what she'd said. And if he'd heard...

"He'll know," she murmured out loud. "He'll know how I feel...he must have heard..."

"I did," he replied softly. "But I can forget I heard it, if it makes you uncomfortable.."

Glancing up, Murrue saw that he was awake, sleepy blue eyes focused on her. Blushing again, she looked back down at her lap, hands twisting together.

"N-no," she whispered. "I meant what I said. I just didn't know how to tell you. But it's true. I do...I.." Taking a deep breath, she looked back up at him, heart racing. "I love you."

His scarred face wore an expression halfway between shock and sheer delight, and before Murrue could react, he leaned forward and enveloped her in a massive bear-hug, nuzzling his face into her hair. All she could do was return the embrace, resting her head on his shoulder. "Thank you for taking care of me.."

"Always," he replied softly, stroking her hair. "I'll always take care of you. I always have. Because I love you too."

* * *

( hehehehehehehehe

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	8. Chapter 8

The beach on the quiet island rang to the sound of delighted laughter - though not the kind that was usually heard there. Instead of the giggling of young children, this was the laughter of adults. Two people, a man and a woman, stood together on the white sand, his arms wrapped tightly around her slender waist, her hands clutching the strings of a bright blue kite. The toy dipped and twirled in the sea breeze, glittering as the ribboned tail caught the sunlight. The young woman gazed up at the kite, golden-brown eyes alight with happiness, and leaned back a little further into her companion's embrace. He in turn smiled, kissing the top of her head.

On the porch of a small wooden house a little way away, four young people sat watching the two, smiles on their faces.

"What do you think?" asked Kira, his expression one of unmistakeable pride and satisfaction at seeing the two older people so contented.

Lacus smiled, sipping her tea. "Murrue-san and Lorrnoke-san seem very happy together. Poor Murrue-san was so sad when Commander La Fllaga died, so seeing her smile like this is wonderful.."

"Mwu-san will remember one day," said Kira, tone definite. "I know he will."

"But even if he never does," mused Athrun, reaching for a sandwich, "Captain Ramius will still love him."

"Lorrnoke-san seems like a very kind person," put in Meyrin, leaning a little closer to her blue-haired boyfriend. "Sad, but kind.."

Kira nodded. "I think that Mwu-san did things he regretted in the Alliance. But that couldn't change the person he is inside. Being with Murrue-san again is the best thing that could have happened to him."

Lacus smiled. "You're proud of yourself, aren't you Kira? You were the one who sent Lorrnoke-san to the Archangel..."

"I gave Mwu-san back to Murrue-san," replied the young man simply. "The two of them helped me out a lot back in the first war, and I wanted to find some way to repay them. When I found Mwu-san, I knew that the best way to do that was to bring them back together again. I got worried at first when he didn't remember her, but it's all okay now.."

The wind had dropped, the kite fallen to the sand, but the couple didn't mind. They sat together, she nestled close to him with her head on his shoulder, his arms still wrapped around her waist. She smiled, closing her eyes as the sound of the sea washed over her, content in the arms of the one she'd come to love.

"Don't you go falling asleep on me now," he murmured, his voice muffled by her hair. "I'd have to carry you home.."

"Would you mind?" she replied drowsily, snuggling further into his warm embrace, and she heard his soft laughter.

"Not at all. But then I wouldn't be able to spend time with you, would I?" Getting to his feet, Neo took his girlfriend's hand and helped her up. "Let's go for a walk."

"Why?" asked Murrue, a faint grumble to her tone, but she followed him off the beach and into the cool woods surrounding the shoreline, her hand clasped tightly in his. Aside from Kira-kun and the others, the little island was practically uninhabited, and just as practically unexplored.

"Is this...what you meant...by spending time together?" Murrue panted as the blonde man led the way up a steep cliff. He just chuckled, helping her walk the rest of the way until they reached a clearing at the top. And the two gasped, hands still joined, just standing together and staring.

The view was spectacular. The brilliant blue sky reflected perfectly off the ocean, the sunlight glittering from the waves. Sea birds wheeled overhead, their lonely cry echoing off the rocky cliffs and seeming to hang forever in the air. Murrue's eyes were wide. "It's beautiful..."

"Sure is," Neo breathed, azure eyes captivated by the sight. He'd never seen anything like this before, and the expression on his handsome face was one of almost childlike wonder. Noticing this, the young woman beside him squeezed his hand gently, causing him to glance at her with a smile. "Thanks."

"For what?" she asked as they sat down together. "You were the one who brought us here.."

"But you were the one who brought me to live here in the first place," he reminded her, tapping her nose playfully. "Because of that, I have a life here, and I have someone I love." Reaching out, Neo cupped her chin in one hand and leaned forward to kiss her lovingly. Murrue replied instantly, thin arms curling around his neck to bring him closer. Lately, these exchanges had begun to grow more passionate, the two of them needing something more from each other, but not really knowing what that something was. When they broke apart for air after several minutes, the two of them weren't really surprised to find that she was lying in the soft grass, gazing up at him. Her cheeks were bright pink, dark eyes half-closed...but she shook her head just a fraction. Even though the couple loved each other a great deal, kisses (and the occasional make-out session) were as far as things had gone...so far. She'd asked him to give her time, and he had no problem with that. Kissing her again, this time much more gently, Neo wrapped an arm around Murrue's shoulders and helped her sit up, letting her rest her head on his shoulder.

"You don't mind, do you?" he asked, winding arms around her waist and hugging her close. "That..I'm not him?"

"Neo," she said with a touch of exasperation. "stop it. How many times do I need to tell you? It doesn't matter that you're not him. I love you because you're _you._" She took his hand, twining their fingers together. "I'm happy. Stop doubting yourself.."

He nodded, closing his eyes and resting his chin on her shoulder. He and Murrue had been together for a few months now, and to tell the truth, he couldn't remember ever being happier. He still worried sometimes that she compared him to the one she had loved before, but she would always reassure him with gentle words and a kiss.

_It doesn't help that I dream about him. About being him, like I'm seeing through his eyes. I see battles that I don't remember fighting in, see people that I recognise, but different somehow. And more than anything else, I see her in these dreams. Sometimes she's in her office on the ship, sometimes on the bridge or observation deck, but more often than not, we're together either in her room or mine. When I wake up, I'm happy, but sad at the same time, because it's clear how much she loved him, and I always worry that she'll never be as happy with me as she was with him..._

"You know," she mused, looking down at their clasped hands, "you can talk to me about it.."

"About what?" Neo asked, forcing a note of false cheer into his voice. But Murrue clearly wasn't buying it. Sighing, she snuggled back against him a little more, her warmth providing comfort.

"About whatever's bothering you. I know that sometimes you get sad, but this is different. Not sadness, something else. Like a mixture of happiness and worry. Talk to me. Please don't hide it.." Neo had to smile. How had she learned to read him like that so fast? Closing his eyes again, he laid back on the grass, her still held in his arms.

"I have dreams," he began softly. "At first they were just flashes. Images, smells, sounds..nothing very clear. But now they're more than that. I see things - I see you. I don't know what it means, except that it's familiar. Like I've lived through it before..."

Murrue closed her eyes. Kira-kun's insistence that Neo was really Mwu...she'd stopped thinking about it. She loved Neo for who he was, not for who everyone wanted him to be. It hadn't been easy, of course - she'd adored Mwu, but Neo had charmed his way into her heart, and she'd come to love him very much.

"Do you think I'm starting to remember something?" he asked, a note of worry in his voice. "Am...am I really Mwu, like everyone thinks? Or..." He trailed off, and sighed. Turning around in his arms, she traced a finger across the scar on his nose, then kissed him gently.

"It doesn't matter," she told him, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. "Whoever you want to be, whatever you remember or don't, I'd love you regardless. So don't worry..." She felt him relax at those words, and he hugged her tightly.

"Thanks.."

The two of them stayed like that for a while, together in the shade of the trees at the top of the cliff, the only sounds to be heard the rush of the sea, the call of the birds, and their own soft breathing.

"You coming over tonight?" she eventually asked, propping herself up on an elbow.

He took a while to respond, then cracked open one blue eye and smiled, reaching up to ruffle her dark hair. "Sure." He came over for dinner once or twice a week, still not too good at cooking for himself, even though she was teaching him as best she could. He spent a lot of time at her house, in fact, for reasons she hadn't understood until she'd visited his apartment. The tiny place was empty and silent, devoid of any personal touches or comfort. Partly it was because he hadn't had time to collect anything, and partly because, she thought, he didn't like living there. He didn't like being alone. Murrue could understand, because she felt the same way. She had hedged for a while over the idea of inviting him to live with her. She did love him, and didn't want to be alone anymore, but...was it too soon?

* * *

"Am I early?"

He stood outside the door, clad in a black trousers and a white shirt, and also wore a happy smile. Murrue felt herself smile back, although a little shyly, fiddling with her hair and gazing at the floor. Neo chuckled, wrapping her up in his arms and bringing her close for a sweeping kiss. "Why so shy?"

"You didn't give me chance to get ready," she replied in a murmur. She wore just jeans and a tank top, covered by a pink cardigan, and felt rather plain. But he didn't seem to notice.

"You look beautiful," he reassured her, nuzzling his face into her neck. "You always look beautiful.."

Blushing, she giggled as his lips tickled her. "Stop it now. I have to finish dinner..."

After a simple meal of lamb stew (which he had eaten most of), the two of them snuggled up together on the sofa to eat dessert, a chocolate mousse. Neo ate his very quickly, and soon began to try and steal spoonfuls of hers, which caused Murrue to wriggle around in his embrace, laughing all the time, but not making any real attempt to escape...until the two of them fell onto the floor. They were both still laughing, but all that changed with his kiss. It was passionate, furious and desperate, and seemed to last forever. When it finally broke, Murrue gazed up at him hazily, brushing fingertips across his face. He smiled a little, pressing little kisses to her fingers, and she closed her eyes at the sensations. It was getting harder to resist his advances, and deep down inside, she wasn't sure she _wanted _to resist them anymore.

Opening her eyes, she smiled...and nodded. He blinked at that, clearly surprised. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure," she replied softly, letting him lift her from the floor. And she was. She loved him, and knew he loved her. She also knew that in a very real sense, they both needed this. To know that they weren't alone anymore - that they were a part of something. Of someone. It didn't make much sense, yet they couldn't deny it.

Winding her arms around his neck, she kissed him again as he slowly carried her up the stairs.

* * *

( Yes, yes, I know. I wasn't going to write 'that' till later. But it seemed to work. And no, he won't suddenly magically get all his memories back, either lol.

Please read and review! )


	9. Chapter 9

"Mmmm..." Stretching out, she smiled without knowing why. She felt tired, but for some reason, happier than she'd been in a very long time. The morning light gleamed through the thin curtains, the birdsong drifted through the window, and she sighed in contentment, turning over in bed to go back to sleep...back to her dreams, which had been wonderful.

Only to come face to face with a sleeping man. Murrue's eyes snapped wide open, and she gasped softly. "I..." she murmured, flopping back onto the pillows, gaze still fixed on him. Not giving any sign that she'd disturbed him, Neo mumbled in his sleep, scarred nose twitching, then settled back down with a happy sigh. His lips curved into a smile, and despite her initial shock, Murrue couldn't help smiling back, reaching out to run a finger across the raised skin of his scar. _You have so many scars, don't you? And not all of them are physical.._. She'd seen the physical scars, criss-crossing his body like a road map, and kissed as many as she could.

_"Do they still hurt?"_ she'd asked, making patterns out of the old injuries by tracing across them. He'd smiled, and shook his head.

_"Not anymore. It was a long time ago now. But it feels nice when you touch them. No-one's ever done that before..."_

That was when she'd kissed them, the loving touch of her lips making him smile again. _"Why don't you get them removed?" _she'd asked, nuzzling a little closer to pillow her head on his chest. _"It must be possible..."_

_"It is,"_ he'd replied, caressing her dark hair gently. _"But I'd rather keep them. I remember so little about my past, my life before these last two years, so any reminder is welcome, no matter how painful..."_

Murrue could understand that. All she'd had in those two years to remind her of what - who - she'd lost, was a white uniform cap, and memories so strong that she'd sometimes lost herself in them. Any reminder of the time before, of those few months she'd spent with Mwu, brought great pain, but also peace. And now..the pain was lessened, leaving only the comfort of her old memories. Closing her eyes, she stretched out again, and snuggled up to her sleeping lover. _I wonder if this didn't happen too soon..whether we shouldn't have waited a while...but it sure felt right._ The memories of last night were a little hazy, a blur of feelings, images and sounds. His warmth, his kisses, his smile. He'd whispered how beautiful she was, (which had made her blush fiercely) and how much he loved her, the recollection of which made Murrue smile. _That's really all we wanted, isn't it? To be with someone, to be loved..._

Moving close, she very gently kissed Neo, before slipping from the bed and donning nightdress and robe. As she left the little bedroom, she turned back to gaze at him. Although this hadn't been what she'd expected, or initially wanted, she was happy. Smiling to herself, she left the room, and left him to sleep.

* * *

Even without opening his eyes, he could tell that this wasn't his apartment. The light was coming from the wrong direction, and there wasn't the constant sound of traffic moving past outside. Instead, he could hear the cry of sea birds, and , if he listened closely, the sound of the sea itself. The bed he was resting in was soft and comfortable, and everywhere was the scent of roses. That made him smile. The scent was so familiar, one he'd come to love just as much as the one he associated with it. "Murrue?"

Yawning, he pried open azure eyes, expecting to find her sleeping beside him...but she wasn't there. Her warmth was still present in the sheets and blankets, however, and he stretched out a hand to bring her pillow close and breathe in her scent. _Got it bad, haven't I?_ Last night..well, to tell the truth, he'd dreamed about it for a while. To know what it would be like to be with her. Closing his eyes, he sighed happily, nuzzling closer into her pillow. He could remember it clearly, the touch of her hands, her laughter as his kisses had tickled her, the pink flush to her cheeks, and her soft cries of happiness. _Afterwards, we talked for hours. We left the curtains open and looked at the stars, pointing out constellations and swapping stories. I think she was the first to fall asleep, cuddled close with her head on my shoulder - and I just watched her sleep...and thought about how lucky I was._

Stretching out lazily, Neo fumbled for clothes, and wandered out of the room, stifling another yawn. Murrue was in the sitting room, standing gazing out of the window holding a mug of coffee. The day was grey and overcast, a fine light drizzle falling, but it was no cooler than normal, and a few birds hopped about the garden, pecking at the grass. One of them found a worm, and the other tried to steal it, the two little feathered creatures chirping and squabbling. Murrue giggled, the soft musical sound bringing a smile to Neo's face. Stepping forward, he enfolded the young woman in a hug, winding arms around her waist from behind. She jumped a little, startled, then smiled, setting down her mug on the windowsill. "Good morning..."

"Morning," he replied, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Sleep well?"

She nodded, reaching up to rest her hands on his own. She didn't say anything more for a while, until he kissed her cheek. "What's wrong, beautiful?"

"Nothing," she replied softly, leaning back into his embrace and closing her eyes. "Just thinking, that's all. About what happens now.."

"Whatever you want to happen," was Neo's reply. "You know that." Murrue nodded again, retrieving her coffee.

"Last night..what happened...you don't think it was too soon?" she asked hesitantly. "I mean, it felt right. It was.." her cheeks pinked, and she looked down with a smile. "I enjoyed it, and..."

He chuckled, hugging her a little closer. "So did I. And no, I don't think it was too soon. We already spend most of our time together..know we love each other, and it's been five months now. I don't think we rushed into this, if that's what you're worried about."

Moving to the sofa, he sat down, and after a moment she joined him, curled up beside him with her head on his shoulder, coffee mug sitting forgotten on the floor. When he slipped an arm around her waist, she murmured happily and snuggled closer, closing her eyes.

"This feels nice.." she admitted, letting him lift her onto his lap. "It's been a long time since..."

_Since you let anyone in, _Neo thought, breathing in the rose scent from her hair. _Since you let anyone love you, take care of you. Other people might have gotten close, but there was always that wall there, that barrier you never let anyone pass...except me. You showed me the real you, the one you keep hidden beneath all those layers of formality...and I love you even more for it..._

"You know," he said, wanting to change the subject, "you look kinda sleepy still. You wanna go back to bed for a while?" Murrue murmured something in reply and cuddled a little closer, one hand curling around the collar of his T-shirt. Neo smiled, amused that someone so professional could also be so childlike. And he also knew that she wouldn't show that childlike side to anyone but those she loved and trusted, which let him know how important he was to her.

"C'mon, beautiful.." Kissing the crown of her hair, he gathered her up in his arms and carried her back upstairs. She never stirred once as he settled her back under the covers, or when he climbed in beside her...until he wrapped her up in his arms again. For a second, she woke, half-opening amber eyes to gaze at him before settling down into his embrace with a contented sigh, a smile curving her lips.

And he smiled back, shifting to a more comfortable position and closing his eyes. _I should really go home...but I don't want to leave her just yet. In fact, I want to stay here forever..._

* * *

( Fluffy mess :smile:

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	10. Chapter 10

Whistling cheerfully, the blonde man made his way through the winding halls of the building toward his apartment. He didn't often look forward to coming back here, even if it was only for a few hours, but today was different. Before he'd left work, she'd kissed him gently, and promised she'd come visit him later, bringing some of her stew for dinner. _"You don't eat enough. What if you get sick?" "_ she'd scolded, brushing some of the hair from his face.

_"If I got sick, would you take care of me?"_ he'd asked in reply, grinning, and she'd sighed.

_"Yes, I would. But not if you got sick from not eating. That'd be your own fault."_ Standing on her tiptoes, she'd brushed her lips against his, and promised to bring some stew for them to share that evening. Of course, he'd much prefer to eat at her house than at his spartan apartment, but any date with her was a date, right? Smiling to himself at the thought, he unlocked his door, and wandered into the tiny sitting room. It was quiet, neat and well-ordered, as he had been used to living, but very little like his current appearance. The sofa wasn't the most comfortable in the world, but it was good enough to collapse on after a long tiring day, as he did now with a colossal yawn. A little nap before Murrue arrived couldn't hurt, could it?

As he slept, he dreamed, but unlike the usual pleasant dreams of a half-remembered past, this was everything he'd been dreading.

"Ah, good evening. I wondered when you'd be coming back here." The man lounging on the sofa of the ship's stateroom waved a hand at the small amount of furniture and bare walls it contained. "Not much of a place, is it?"

Neo stared at the man for a moment, blue eyes hard. "Why is that any of your business?"

"Just an observation," replied the man airily, checking his manicured fingernails. "I never guessed you'd be in Orb, but then again, it seems to be popular with deserters."

The blonde man regarded his uninvited guest for a moment. He disliked everything about the man's demeanour, his oily affected charm, perfect clothes and appearance. Djibril. His 'master'.

Neo scowled, not bothering to hide his distaste. "Get out of here." he spat. "You're not welcome."

Djibril laughed, the sound harsh and mocking. "Found a spirit, have you? You have no right to say that. You still belong to me, you know. Bought and paid for, my own little puppet."

"I'm no-one's puppet," Neo replied angrily. "I'm myself."

"Myself?" laughed the man. "Who's 'myself'? You have no past, no life of your own aside from the one I created for you. My toy soldier, no different from those children that were left in your care. You're not a person, you're a marionette."

"I'm not your toy anymore," was Neo's response, calmer this time. "Whatever I was before, I'm not now. My life is my own, and my home is here. People in Orb, they don't care where I came from, they accept me at face value."

"Because they don't know what you are," Djibril replied smoothly, examining his fingernails again. "If they did know, knew the things you'd done, would they really accept you? Would your girlfriend?" At Neo's shock, he laughed again. "What has she been teaching you? That you deserve to be happy? Deserve this life? Do you really think she'd say that if she knew what you'd done?"

Neo flinched. Murrue had told him he could talk to her about anything, but he'd decided early on in their relationship that he'd never tell her about the things he'd done in the Alliance. Someone like her, with such purity and innocence, didn't deserve to be tainted by that knowledge. He'd concentrated on being the person she had helped him to become, not the shadow he'd been before, pushing those memories to the back of his mind. Hiding his sadness and bitterness behind a smile, and the love he felt for the one who'd saved him.

"Ah, I see," said the man. "You haven't told her. No surprise."

"Why are you here?" asked Neo quietly, gaze fixed on the ground. "Did you come here to torment me? What exactly do you want?"

"To remind you of what you are," Djibril replied. "You don't belong here, and deep inside, you know that. You're nothing but a shadow, a life created by us out of the remnants of another. You belong to us." Gesturing to the mirror on the wall, he smiled slyly, then left, closing the door behind him...and leaving Neo alone with the memories of his crimes returning to assail him, and the mirrored reflection of a man in a neat black uniform and almost featureless metal mask.

* * *

Humming to herself, she made her way along the narrow corridors, clutching the pot of lamb stew she'd made earlier. She knew how much he loved it, and giggled happily, hugging the pot close as she imagined his smile. The two of them spent more time together than apart, and it was very easy for her to picture a day when she and Neo could be together all the time. Perhaps...one day.. Walking up to his door, she knocked softly...and was surprised to receive no reply. After the next knock was also met with silence, Murrue opened the door and peeked inside. Her lover was fast asleep on the sofa, which made her smile again...but only for a moment. Something seemed...wrong?

"Neo?" Walking in, she set the pot down on the small kitchen worktop, and crossed the room to kneel by his side. His sleeping face wore an expression of barely suppressed pain...an expression she'd seen traces of before, but never like this. He appeared to be having a nightmare, and didn't respond when she squeezed his hand gently. "Neo, wake up..."

The blonde man mumbled something incoherent, frowning in his sleep, but didn't stir until she leaned forward and very gently kissed his lips, then the scar across his nose. Then, he did wake, blinking sleepy blue eyes to focus on her. "M-Murrue?"

She smiled, brushing a lock of hair from his face. "You don't mind that I let myself in, do you?"

He shook his head, rubbing his face and sitting up slowly. "No, of course not. Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep..." He smiled, tapping the end of Murrue's nose with a finger.

She wasn't fooled for a moment. "That's okay. But will you tell me what you were dreaming about? It looked like you were in pain..."

Neo looked away, the forced smile disappearing. For a moment, he squeezed his eyes shut, the pained expression returning.

"It was just a bad dream, that's all." he murmured. "A reminder of mistakes. Don't worry about it."

"But I do worry," she replied, moving to sit beside him on the sofa. "There are moments when you look so lost and sad, and I don't know why. Please tell me. Don't hide things from me..."

"I can't tell you.." he said softly, getting up to move to the window. "These last two years, I wasn't just part of the Alliance...I was a soldier of Blue Cosmos. The things I did for them don't even bear thinking about, let alone speaking. And well...I'm scared. I'm scared that if I do tell you..."

"That I'd leave you?" Murrue asked, getting up to join him. "Do you really think I would?" Turning him to face her, she hugged him close, resting her head on his heart. "Try me. Tell me everything, and if I'm still here when you're done, you'll have your answer."

Evidently taken aback by this, Neo hesitated, until she hugged him a little tighter. "It's okay.." she murmured. "Tell me."

And he did. Quietly, shakily, and more than a little nervously, he told her everything. All he'd been, all he'd done. His voice faltered more than once, but he kept talking, seeming to find some kind of absolution through the confession, just as she'd hoped. The tales he told were harrowing, speaking of horrendous crimes, and more than once Murrue found herself having to choke back tears at what he'd been made to do. All she could do was hold him close as he told his story, his own tears disappearing into her hair.

Finally, his voice trailed off. "That's it," he murmured. "Everything..."

Lifting her head, she gazed up at him, seeing the trails of tears on his cheeks and the red-rimmed blue eyes. He managed a little smile, and lifted a hand to stroke her hair. "Now you know. I'm sorry."

"For what?" she replied, scrubbing at her eyes. "You weren't the one responsible..." Standing up on her tiptoes, she kissed him gently. "It's all right, love. It's all going to be all right. I'm still here, and I will be for as long as you'll let me. Because I love you. And I forgive you. So don't worry..."

Neo's eyes widened, and he pulled her as close as he could, so much so that Murrue could scarcely breathe. But she smiled, resting her head on his shoulder. _That's right, I forgive you. And I'm glad you told me. Something like that..it shouldn't be kept hidden. Pain is lessened when it's shared and understood. That's something we've both learned well..._

* * *

( eheh.

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	11. Chapter 11

_She floated there before him in the zero-gravity of the hangar bay, dark hair hovering around her shoulders, amber eyes downcast and worried. She'd never come to see him off before, which spoke volumes to him about how worried she was about this battle. As he gazed at her, she managed a small smile. "I was afraid I wouldn't make it in time," she said softly, a laugh in her voice. He chuckled._

_"Make it to what, silly?"_

_She didn't answer, just gave an embarrassed laugh. In the space of the silence, a small object floated up from beneath her open jacket collar. A locket. He'd seen this locket before, on her nightstand. A silvery object, coffin-shaped, with a red rose sculpted on the front. He'd never seen it up close before, and reached out to catch the locket in his fingers and study it. She gasped softly, eyes widening - she evidently hadn't meant him to see it._

_"Was he a mobile armour pilot?" he asked, and she looked down. "Y-yes.."_

_He understood. That was why she'd been so reluctant at the beginning of their relationship..to get too close. The memories of the one she'd loved and lost before must still be painful for her. That was why she was here...she was afraid that she might lose him too._

_"It's all right," he said, causing her to glance up at him, the worry evident on her pretty face. "I'll be right back," he continued. "Bringing victory with me."_

_She sighed at that, moving forward and placing her hands flat to his chest. He smiled, wrapping his right arm around her waist and bringing her close for a gentle kiss. The exchange lasted only a few minutes, but seemed to go on forever. Neither wanted to let the other go, both worried that this might be the last time they would see the one they loved. He himself was adamant that whatever it took, whether he lived or died, he would protect her, keep her safe. Because she was the world to him._

Yawning, he pried open sleepy azure eyes, gazing around himself. The room was familiar enough, white-painted walls, closed blinds, thin blankets and coverlets heaped on the small bed - this was his own room, in his apartment, but right now, it seemed strange to him. Alien, almost. Rubbing his eyes, he made as if to sit up, only to find something was holding him back. Looking back down, he smiled. She was curled up beside him, fast asleep, auburn hair spilling over the pillow. After she'd come over yesterday evening, and he'd told her his story...the painful memories of the last two years he'd tried so hard to repress, she'd stayed the night - hadn't left him alone, which he was grateful for. They'd shared the stew she'd brought, and cuddled up together on the rather uncomfortable sofa to watch TV...welcome simplicity that he still wasn't quite used to. _She could have gone home, but instead she asked to stay. I have no idea why...her house is much more comfortable than this place, but I'm glad she did stay._

Yawning, Neo stretched out lazily, though doing his best not to disturb the woman sleeping by his side. That dream he'd had was still fresh in his mind, all the details clear. He'd seen Murrue there, clad in a white Alliance uniform as he'd seen her in previous flashes of memory, and she'd looked at him with the same kind of love she did now, it clear to see in those beautiful eyes of hers. There had been worry there too...she'd been scared about something. A battle. He'd done his best to reassure her, promising her that he'd come back to her. _That was one of __**his**__ memories. Sometimes I wish he'd get out of my mind..._

But at the same time, these memories of another life brought an odd kind of peace. Closing his eyes, he snuggled up to his still-sleeping lover, burying his face in her rose-scented hair. "If I am him," he murmured, kissing her cheek. "I don't mind so much anymore. Because I know now that it doesn't matter who I am..."

Unseen by him, Murrue smiled at his quiet words. Neo seemed happier now, more at ease with himself, probably in part due to him being relieved of the pain he'd been suppressing, of being able to finally talk about the things he'd done, and be forgiven for them. And he was right. Whether he remembered his past, or stayed as he was, it didn't matter anymore.

"You're awake early," she remarked drowsily. "You didn't have another nightmare, did you?"

"Nope," he replied, nuzzling into her neck. "Why would I have a nightmare if you were here with me? I did dream though. About you.."

Rolling over in the bed to face him, Murrue traced a fingertip across the scar on his nose. "About me?" she asked, knowing her cheeks must be pink. "What did you see?"

"You," he replied softly, kissing her finger. "You were there, in an Alliance uniform, with a locket round your neck. We were talking...I told you that I'd be back..."

She closed her eyes at the memories, and pain, those words brought back. He had promised to come back, but that had been the last time she'd ever seen the Mwu she'd known, the kind and gentle person who'd stolen her heart and kept it. It still hurt. Sitting up in the bed, she hugged her knees close to her chest, fighting back tears. _Don't cry. It's not fair on him. He loves you, and he didn't know that that particular memory would hurt you..._

The next thing she knew, she was being pulled close in a hug, him wrapping her tightly in his arms and pressing a kiss to auburn hair. "I'm sorry," Neo murmured, tugging her into his lap. "Something you didn't want to remember, huh?"

"It's not that," Murrue replied, shifting to a more comfortable position and taking his hand, twining their fingers together. "It's not that I remember it...because it's not something I can forget. I just didn't think it would hurt that much.."

"You miss him, huh?" he asked softly, winding an arm around her waist. At her nod, he smiled, kissing her cheek. "Then why shouldn't it hurt? If...if something ever happened to you...I..." His voice trailed off, and Murrue turned around in his embrace, pulling him close and letting him rest his head on her shoulder.

"Sssh, love. Don't worry about that.." she murmured, kissing the crown of his hair. "What brought that on?"

"He was afraid of that," Neo replied, voice muffled slightly by her T-shirt. "I know. More than anything, he was afraid of losing you. That battle...all he was thinking of was keeping you safe. He didn't care what happened to him.."

"But _I _cared..." she whispered without thinking, threading her fingers through his hair. Oh yes, she'd cared. She couldn't count the times she'd lain awake at night wishing she hadn't, that the pain in her heart would just end. But, of course, it never had.

"He knew that," he said softly, closing his eyes and snuggling closer. "He knew you did. He cared too - he loved you very much, just like I do..."

"How _do_ you know?" Murrue asked, half-lying back in the bed and cradling his head on her chest. "You sound so sure, but..."

"I just do..." he murmured, drowsy now from her warmth and embrace. "Like...I can tell how he felt, like he's here in my head or something. Sometimes..I feel like he's talking through me, and I can feel what he does, or what he would.."

"Oh?" Smiling, she continued to stroke his hair. "What's he feeling now?"

For a moment, Neo didn't reply, and she thought he'd fallen asleep. Then he spoke up.

"He's happy..."

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( Disjointed, weird, but...lol.

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	12. Chapter 12

The air rippled with the sun's heat and the light sea breeze, and caused her hair to flutter gently. Smiling, she stretched out her arms, and sat down on the doorstep of her small house to enjoy the day, a glass of iced tea by her side. All around, the flowers of her garden waved in the wind, sending scent and colour into the air, and she just gazed at them for a moment, realising that now, she had everything she'd ever wanted. Peace, a home and a garden...and someone she loved here with her. From one end of the garden, she could hear banging, as well as off-key humming. Earlier in the day, he'd come over to visit, asking if there was anything that needed doing, and she'd set him to work fixing the shed, having to suppress a smile at his surprise.

_Of course, he didn't come over for that really. He came over because he wants to be here. If he hadn't, I'd most likely have gone to his apartment to see him. These days, we spend more time together than apart. And if one day, he comes over...and never leaves, then I wouldn't mind. If he asked to live here, I'd let him - I'd be happy to let him._

Getting to her feet, Murrue walked over the garden to where she knew he'd be, and smiled again when she saw him. He was sitting on the grass with his back to her, a piece of wood in one hand, and as she watched, he tilted his head up to let the sun warm his skin, scarred face wearing a contented smile. He did that quite often, sometimes when they were sitting together in her garden, other times when they were walking in the city. Just tip his head back to let the sunlight warm his face, as though it wasn't something he was used to feeling, and smile. She loved to see his smile, the happy expression replacing the confusion and loneliness that had been there for so long. _And it's the same for me. Like him, I was alone. Kept myself alone so I'd never be hurt again. But we found each other somehow, and taught each other to smile again._

"How's it coming?" she asked, her own smile widening as he turned to look up at her, azure eyes softening as he saw her there.

"Not bad," he replied, gesturing to the weather-beaten shed. Even for a tropical country, Orb did get it's fair share of bad weather, having the occasional rainstorm or hurricane. More than once in the last two years, she and Commander Bartfeld had had to patch up the fences and even the roof of their clifftop house after a storm, and even though the little house she lived in now was sheltered from the worst of the weather, it still suffered it's effects.

"Want a drink?" she asked, leaning down to ruffle his blonde locks. Neo yawned, flopping backwards onto the grass and stretching out lazily.

"Nah, I should be getting back now," he mused, holding out a hand in front of him to block the sun. When she didn't say anything, he glanced up at her, and held out his hand. "What's wrong, beautiful? You want me to stay?"

Murrue nodded silently, sitting down beside him and taking the offered hand. "When...when you're not...it gets too lonely now. I'm not used to it anymore..."

He smiled a little, bringing her hand close to kiss her fingers. "Neither am I," he admitted. "I miss you when I can't be with you..." Moving closer, he rested his head on her lap with a contented sigh. "I don't wanna go..."

"Then don't." were her soft words.

Neo peeked up at her, seeing her lips curved in a gentle and oddly hopeful smile. Those eyes of hers shone with an emotion he wasn't sure he recognised. "Murrue?"

She didn't say anything at first, just skimmed one hand through his hair, twirling the blonde locks between her fingers. Then she spoke, her voice so quiet he barely heard her.

"If you don't want to go back...then don't. Stay here...with me." Her cheeks flushed crimson as she tripped over her words slightly, and she glanced away. Neo gazed at her for a moment, trying to comprehend her words.

"What do you mean?" he asked, reaching up to brush his hand across her face. His girlfriend's blush deepened, if that were possible, and she sighed, still not looking at him.

"That if you wanted, you're..." Her voice trailed off for a moment, then she took a deep breath. "You're welcome to stay here with me," she added.

He smiled, understanding what she was trying to say. "I'd like that very much..." Sitting up, he hugged her so tightly that all she could do was squeak in surprise, eyes widening. "N-Neo..."

"Thank you.." he murmured. _It's true. Thank you...for everything. I have a life here...and now I have a real home, with you. I belong._

Murrue smiled, closing her eyes and returning the embrace. "Thank _you_..." To know that you wouldn't have to be alone anymore - that no matter where you went, how far you travelled, someone would be there waiting when you got home...it was wonderful. Now that she thought about it, wasn't that what she'd wanted all along?

Pulling away from him a little, she ran her hand over his scarred face, giggling when he closed his eyes and pressed kisses to the palm. "Don't like that apartment, huh?"

He made a face at that, screwing his nose up. "It never felt like home," he mused. "Even though it's the only home I can remember having, it never felt like it. _Archangel _did though. Comfortable, familiar, somewhere I knew I belonged." Smiling, he looked around himself, at the little house and garden. "And this feels the same. Maybe it's because of you?"

Murrue blushed poppy red. "M-me?"

Neo nodded, flopping back onto the grass again, this time with her held in his arms. "The way it feels, it's not as much the place that makes it home, as the person you're with. Does that make sense? _Archangel_ was home, and this place feels like home...because of you. Because I love you.."

She considered that. Of course, Neo didn't remember what having a real home felt like, and that even if he did recall memories of one, they wouldn't exactly be _happy_ memories. Living here might just mean more than the two of them not being alone anymore...it might be the closest thing to a real life he'd ever experienced. Because he could share it with her.

"It does make sense," she replied, resting her head on his shoulder. "If you're with someone you love, anywhere can feel like home. _Archangel_...was home for me too because of that."

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( Today we have the theme of 'home'. It's an idea I've touched on before, that home isn't always a place, but can be a person too, or a place you associate with a person. _Archangel_ would be home for both Murrue-san and Neo-san because of that, ne? And I get the impression that wherever they lived, it'd be home if they were together :smile:

Please read and review! )


	13. Chapter 13

She awoke to the sound of whistling. Yawning, she rubbed her eyes drowsily, gazing up at the white ceiling of her bedroom. For a moment, she wasn't sure what had woken her, then she heard the tune again, this time in off-key humming. And she smiled, stretching out under the comforter, before reaching out to pick up her clock from the bedside table. 8.10AM. Murrue groaned slightly, flopping back into the bed and closing her eyes. The man really was impossible. He'd come to live here a little over two weeks ago, settling into life in the small house quite happily. And despite neither of them being used to living with someone else, things were going well. It was a very nice feeling - to wake up every morning and see him sleeping there beside her, or to come home and find him there in the kitchen, cooking dinner (he _had_ gotten better). It surprised her how quickly she'd got used to all this...to sharing her life completely with another.

_Of course, some things are a bit of a trial. He kept his apartment neat and ordered, but since he's come to live here...well, he scatters things right and left. Clothes, dirty cups and plates...I guess it's a measure of how much more comfortable he is here. But sometimes, it's like living with a teenager. Also, something I find hard to reconcile with the Mwu I knew is how __**early**__ Neo wakes up, often as early as six or seven in the morning._

Yawning again, Murrue sat up, brushing a lock of dark hair from her face. Neo did wake up a little early, and perhaps he was more messy than she'd expected, but he was also happy and loving, and always managed to make her smile. So really, it wasn't so bad, was it? Humming a soft tune, she climbed out of bed and donned her robe before straightening out the comforter and blankets and opening the curtains, smiling at the pleasant day outside.

"Good morning. I didn't wake you up, did I?" Turning at the voice, she saw him standing there at the bedroom door clad in pyjama bottoms and a T-shirt, clutching a mug of hot coffee. He looked sleepy still, but smiled gently as he came to join her at the window, handing her the mug. "Sorry if I did. I...well, I still have trouble sleeping sometimes. I went to make myself a drink, and..." He trailed off sheepishly. "Guess I was too noisy. You always were a light sleeper.."

Murrue hid a smile at the 'always were'. He didn't seem to realise what he'd said, and she wouldn't mention it. While Neo was a long way from recovering all of the memories of his life before, he remembered more and more each day, images and feelings filtering back little by little. The Colonel Lorrnoke she had met that day in sickbay, the bitter and caustic prisoner chained to the bed...she could find no trace of him in the sunny, happy person standing beside her now. The more time they spent together, or with friends, the more her Neo became like her Mwu...which caused a feeling of guilt. Although she loved Neo for who he was, she couldn't quite suppress excited thoughts of him one day returning to the man she had known - the man she still missed.

_It's so unfair to him. Why can't I let go? I love Neo, I'm happy with him, but even now, I can't let go of Mwu. Not completely. The more he remembers, the more I hope that one day he'll be my Mwu again...and I can't help how I feel.._

"Hey, what is it?" His voice broke into her thoughts, and she blinked amber eyes to gaze into his puzzled blue ones. "Are you okay?" he continued, wrapping a warm arm around her waist.

Comforted by his presence, Murrue leaned back into his embrace. And as she thought about it, she realised that it wouldn't be like that. It wouldn't be the same, would it? Even if one day, he remembered everything, all of his memories...he still wouldn't be Mwu, at least, not the Mwu she'd known. Part of him would always be Neo - and would that really be so bad?

"Yes, I'm all right," she murmured, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "I was just thinking.."

"I could tell that," Neo replied softly, resting his chin on her shoulder and winding a lock of her dark hair around a finger. "Something on your mind?"

She didn't answer that, just turned around in his arms and hugged him as tightly as she could, winding her arms around his neck. His scent was just the same, the mix of sandalwood soap, cologne and warm skin she remembered so well, and she buried her face in his neck, closing her eyes. Neo was clearly surprised, but didn't pull away or ask what was wrong, he just held her, stroking her hair gently.

_I love you,_ she thought, sensing his own love and confusion. _I love you whoever you are, whoever you want to be. I just wish it wasn't selfish. I know you love me...even without remembering, you fell in love with me yourself. But for me, I'm worried that my feelings for you will always be coloured by memories of him. I wish...I knew what to do._

Something was bothering her, that much was obvious. For a moment, when she'd been standing at the window, she'd looked so wistful and sad, as though she was thinking of something that worried her. He'd wanted to provide comfort, but wasn't sure that he'd be able to help her this time. "Murrue..what is it?"

"Nothing," she replied softly, thin fingers curling around his T-shirt. "I just...I love you, that's all.."

"I love you too," Neo murmured, smiling a little at her sigh of contentment at his words. "Hey, I have an idea. We've both been working pretty hard lately, huh? How about we go for a walk? Get some fresh air?"

Which they did, after breakfast. The beach was quiet this early in the day, just a few couples and familes out enjoying the sea breeze and sunlight. The two held hands, walking together in quiet companionship, but Murrue's spirits didn't seem to lift. Finally, he sat down on the sand and pulled her to him, tilting her chin so her gaze met his.

"Now tell me. What's wrong?"

She didn't answer for a moment, dark golden eyes full of pain and worry. Then she raised a hand to cup his face, before tracing her fingers across the ridge of his scar lightly. Neo caught her hand in his, squeezing it and kissing it gently. "Talk to me, sweetheart. Please?"

"I...I.." she began, then sighed. "I know you're remembering more now, but...I wish you weren't."

Neo blinked, surprised at that. True enough, the memories of his life before were filtering back, more of the gaps filling in each day...but she'd expected her to be happy about that, not sad. _She doesn't...__**want**__ me to remember? Why not?_

"Why is that?" he asked softly, bringing her closer. Murrue smiled a little, nestling her head on his shoulder as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"I love you," she murmured. "So much. But I love _you_." She tapped her heart for emphasis. "I missed - still miss - Mwu a lot. Like he took part of me with him when he left. That's why I was so afraid to be with anyone again. But you...you were different. You knew what it was like to be lonely, and you were so kind to me. And..." She squeezed the hand that still held hers. "And I fell for you. But not because you were like him, because you were different."

"Different? How?" he asked, brushing her tear away. "The Kira-kid is convinced I'm him. And I thought you'd be happy if I remembered everything..."

"I would be," Murrue replied, lifting her head to gaze up at him. "But at the same time, I'd be sad. I always hoped so much you'd remember, then I could see my Mwu again. But if I got him back...I'd lose _you_. You helped me so much, picked me up and taught me to love again...and I don't want to lose that." Smiling, she ran a hand through his hair and kissed the tip of his nose.

"Didn't I tell you before? That I love you because you're _you_. Not because I want you to be him. So whatever you remember, please...just stay as you are, okay?"

Neo smiled, wrapping the young woman in his arms and bringing her close. _I didn't expect her to say something like that - I thought she'd be happy if I remembered being Mwu again. But that isn't what she wants. Murrue's happy with me being me... _Hugging her tightly, he nuzzled his face into her neck, grinning at her laughter as his lips tickled her. "You have a deal, sweetheart.."

Happy and laughing once again, Murrue managed to wriggle free of his grasp, leaving her shoes behind as she ran across the sand. He chuckled at how utterly undignified and childish she was acting, and decided to indulge her, getting to his feet and beginning to chase her across the beach. She giggled, trying to run faster, but he caught her easily, grabbing her by the waist and swinging her around in the air. Murrue smiled down at him, those beautiful eyes of hers shining, and Neo couldn't help smiling back, bringing her close for a kiss.

"C'mon, beautiful," he said when they broke, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Let's go home."

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( Hmm. Not bad, I don't think. I'm sure she'd be happy if he remembered being Mwu, but at the same time, perhaps she'd be sad too.

Please read and review! )


	14. Chapter 14

"So, how have you been, Mwu-san?"

The man addressed raised an eyebrow at being called that name, but instead of reacting angrily like before, he simply smiled ruefully, gazing out to sea. "Good," he replied quietly. Hearing gentle laughter from the house a little way up the beach, he turned to watch, azure eyes and smile softening as he did so. The young man beside him also smiled, his expression knowing and friendly. Even though the older man still didn't remember everything about his life before, who he was inside hadn't changed. He was still the same as he had been, especially in the way he felt about the woman sitting on the porch of the beach house. She was curled up on a threadbare cushion on the bare boards, some of the orphan children sitting around her listening rapt to a story she was telling. As the two on the beach watched, the woman glanced up and saw them, giving them a smile and a wave.

"Murrue-san is happier now than I've ever seen her," mused Kira softly. "Do you remember anything more about her?"

The older man smiled again, gaze not shifting from the young woman. "More and more every day. Everything she does, everything she says...reminds me of something else. It just makes me love her more. And even though she said she'd be happier if I didn't remember, I'm happy that I do..."

"Murrue-san said that?" asked Kira, clearly shocked. "Why?"

Neo didn't answer for a moment, looking away from Murrue and fixing his gaze on the ground, bare feet half-buried in the sand. "Because even though she loved who I was - loved Mwu - she loves who I am too. If I remembered everything, she'd have him back, but lose me. I can understand what she means, and I'm happy that she loves me as much as she did him. But I'd feel the same way about her, whatever I remembered or didn't, and I'm glad to have those memories of her coming back..."

"You _want_ to remember.." Kira realised, and the blonde man nodded, still staring at the sand.

"I have dreams," he said quietly. "Dreams where I see her, or other people I know, but I don't understand what's happening, or why. I want to ask her about them so I'm able to understand them better. But if she's happier that I don't remember.."

"You need to talk to her," replied the teenager, glancing back towards the house. "If you tell her what you told me, I'm sure Murrue-san would understand. If I were in the same situation, I'd want to know everything I could.."

A little later that day, the two were sitting together on the porch, watching Kira play soccer with some of the children. Neo smiled a little as his girlfriend nestled close to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Now seemed the perfect time to talk to her.

"Hey, Murrue? Can I ask you about something?"

She smiled, nodding. "Of course you can. What is it?"

"I..I had a dream the other night. I saw..we were both standing there. You were sad, you had tears in your eyes, and I was mad. Not mad at you, but at someone else. They were...they were making me leave, and I didn't want to go. Everyone was there, but I just remember that you were crying. What did I see?"

Murrue closed her eyes, clearly remembering the same scene. Reaching out, she took his hand. "Alaska," she murmured finally. "Alliance headquarters. They transferred some members of the crew, including you - Mwu, I mean. Seeing him standing there, knowing I probably wouldn't see him again...it hurt. I realised that I loved him then, and I was sad because I didn't want him to go.."

"Yeah," he said softly, stroking her hair. At her words, more of the gaps had filled in, and he was able to understand what he'd seen a little better. "That's why I was angry. Because I loved you, and I didn't think I'd ever be able to tell you. They were taking me away from the place I could do most good, and I didn't understand why..."

She looked up at him at that, amber eyes sad, but also gentle. "How often do you have these dreams?"

"Every night," Neo admitted. "Some nights clearer than others. Happy memories are the clearest, times when I was with friends, or with you. The dreams I have of you are so vivid...I can remember every detail. Other times, like at Alaska, are harder to see, because I'm angry, or sad. I know...that me remembering these things makes you confused, that you love him, and love me, but please understand that...I _want_ to remember. I want to know who I was before..."

The young woman regarded him for a moment, expression unreadable, then nodded, smiling and settling her head back on his shoulder. "If that's what you want," she replied, "then that's okay."

He smiled in relief at that, winding an arm around her waist. "We...spent a lot of time together, didn't we?"

"As much as we could," Murrue said softly, smile becoming gentle at old memories. "It was...our escape. From the war, from responsibility. When we were together, we could forget the outside and all the problems that went with it.."

"It was...kind of like it is now," Neo mused, closing his eyes. "I think that we were..both lonely, and that's how we found each other. The dreams I have of when we were together...it's nearly always dark, as though it's night - was that the only time we were able to be with each other?" At her nod, he smiled. "Thought so. Sometimes we're talking, though I don't remember what about just yet, and sometimes...well, sometimes we're having a different kind of conversation.." His smile became a sly grin at that, and Murrue flushed poppy red as she caught the meaning of his words.

"But I do remember being happy," he finished, leaning forward to kiss her gently. "Because I was with you, just like I am now. However much I remember, I won't suddenly stop being myself, you know..."

"I know," she confirmed, brushing a lock of blonde hair from his face. "Whatever happens, it'll be all right." Getting to her feet, she held out her hand. "Now come on. However much you want to remember, it's just as important to make new memories as well as hold onto old ones." Gesturing to where Kira was playing soccer with the children, she grinned. "I think Kira could use some help, don't you?"

"Is Lorrnoke-san all right now?"

Murrue glanced up at Lacus' soft voice, and smiled, looking back down the beach. The large group of children swarmed over the sand, kicking the soccer ball back and forth, chasing each other and being chased in turn. In the midst of this throng were Kira and Neo, laughing and joking. The broad happy smile on her lover's face brought a warmth to Murrue's heart, especially when he lifted up one of the kids to sit on his shoulders.

"He's fine," she replied softly. "I told him I'd be happier if he didn't get his memories back, but I never stopped to think that he'd be happier _with_ his memories. He wants to know about himself. We were just talking...about what he does remember. I think he's better able to accept who he is...now he knows who he was..."

Lacus nodded with a smile, sitting down to join her older friend. "He does seem happier now. And he certainly is good with the children..." She watched Neo lift the child from his shoulders and tuck him under his arm, running off down the beach with a loud yell, being chased by the rest of the orphans.

"You and Lorrnoke-san seem very well suited for each other. What happens now?" She remembered Murrue-san's sadness after losing Commander La Fllaga, and the change in her since meeting Lorrnoke-san...she wanted very much for her friend to be happy, for her to have the life she wanted.

Murrue sighed, gazing up at the sky. "I don't know. I love Neo, and I'm happy with him. He told me that he'd never take things further than I wanted them to go...and he deserves at least the same courtesy from me..."

Lacus nodded, tucking her legs under her as she sat down. "What would you like to happen?"

The older woman pinked a little, smile shy. "Just...to be with him. I really don't need anything else.." As she spoke, she glanced back at the soccer game, smile growing at her lover's laughter. "I wanted to stay alone. To keep him alive in my heart by accepting no-one else. But things never work out how you expect, do they? And despite everything that's happened, I wouldn't change a thing. About him, or the life we have now.." With that, she got to her feet, rolling up the cuffs of her jeans and running down the beach to where her friends and loved one waited.

Lacus smiled as she watched her friends having fun. The orphans swarmed around Murrue as she reached them, and the woman laughed, lifting up one of the smallest to swing them around in the air before setting them down again. Beside her, Neo beamed, taking her hand and threading their fingers together. She smiled back, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek...before letting go of his hand and jumping on his back instead. The blonde man seemed confused for a moment, then grinned, looping his arms around her legs and running down the beach, the children following.

_Maybe everything really did work out for the best, after all..._

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(Fwee for randomness. Murrue-san might be happier him not remembering, but what if Neo-san wanted to remember?

Please read and review, and sorry if it makes no sense...)


	15. Chapter 15

She was sitting at the kitchen table poring over the newspaper when he walked in, and didn't notice him at first. He simply grinned, leaned against the doorframe, and watched her for a while. She was working on the daily crossword puzzle, and at times chewed her lower lip, as well as the pen she held as she thought for the answers before noting them down in her neat handwriting. Her dark hair was tied in a messy ponytail, loose strands escaping to frame her pale face, and despite the fact that she wore only an old faded shirt and jeans, she was still beautiful to him...she could never be anything but. Even though he spent all the time he possibly could with her, he was glad for this opportunity to watch her like this, to see the Murrue the rest of the world never saw.

Unfortunately, the moment didn't last. As if sensing his presence, she glanced up and saw him, amber eyes softening with that gentle smile that always made his heart skip. "Hello. How long have you been there?"

"Not long," he replied, moving further into the kitchen and pulling out a chair to sit beside her. "A few minutes, maybe. So, what have you been up to today?"

She made a face, wrinkling her nose, and he chuckled, ruffling her hair. "You keep your promise?" he asked, and she nodded with a sigh.

"No paperwork, right? Yes, I kept my promise..." Stretching her arms, she yawned softly, then slumped again, hand resting on her chin. "But you know," she continued, "I had no idea what to do instead. I worked in the garden, and tidied up a bit, and..."

"And?" Neo prodded, reaching out to wind a lock of her escaped hair around his finger. Murrue pinked slightly, glancing away. "I read for a while...then I fell asleep on the sofa..."

The blonde man laughed. "A nap, huh? Good. You don't get enough sleep, staying up till all hours with your work like that.." Leaning forward, he gently smoothed out the dark circles under her eyes, then brushed her lips with his. "You work too hard, you know..." he murmured, before kissing her again. She smiled and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder when they broke apart.

"And you work just as hard," she reminded him. "You always scold me for doing too much, but you never listen when I tell you the same thing..." Which was true enough. The yearly maintenance checks on the ships and mobile suits of Orb's fleet had all of the dock workers working longer shifts that usual, and quite often the couple had been coming home very late at night, completely wiped out and with nothing more on their minds than a shower, food, and sleep. Seeing how the work was obviously taking it's toll on Murrue, leaving the young woman pale and thin, Neo had asked Erica to give her a day off, then cheerfully informed Murrue that she wasn't allowed to do any work, to just relax and take it easy. She had protested, of course.

_"But Neo, I can't! I have so much to do!"_

_"No, you don't," _he'd told her, lifting her up in his arms and carrying her upstairs. _"All you're going to do today is rest. You've been running yourself ragged, working twice as hard as anyone else.."_

_"But so have you," _she'd pointed out. _"You need a break too. Can't you take the day off with me?" _

He'd shook his head, kissing her gently before settling her in the bed. _"Director Simmons said she can't spare both of us, and she agreed that you needed this more than me. Don't worry, I'll be fine.."_

After a cup of coffee, the two migrated to the garden to enjoy the evening sunlight, she sitting on the grass with his head pillowed on her lap. Despite his airy dismissal of her concern, he _was_ tired, having spent most of the day pulling maintenance detail on the Murasame fleet, and was now having a hard time staying awake, especially with the gentle way she was stroking his hair. Sighing in comfort, Neo closed his eyes, hearing her soft laughter.

"You knew, didn't you?" he murmured drowsily. Of course she'd known, had seen how tired he was, no matter how hard he'd tried to hide it. Murrue could always see, had always been able to see, even when he never said anything. She laughed again, leaning down to kiss his forehead, and he smiled as her rose scent surrounded him.

"Of course I did," she replied, continuing to caress his hair. He managed a soft chuckle, then sighed again, drifting off to sleep.

Murrue smiled down at her sleeping lover, seeing how peaceful and contented he was now. She'd seen how tired he was, had easily noticed the violet shadows under azure eyes, had seen the slump to broad shoulders, even when he himself hadn't noticed. He'd given up his chance at a day off to let her take it, even though she herself hadn't needed it as much as him. _No matter how tired he was, he won't have shown it to anyone else at work. Just like before, I'm the only one who can see his weaknesses - the only one he'll __**let**__ see his weaknesses. The more things change, the more they stay the same, I guess..._

How long had it been now? A year, almost, since _Archangel_ had returned to Orb...and her life now was everything she'd once dreamed of it being. She had a place of her own, a steady job...and someone she loved with all her heart. Gazing down at Neo, she smiled fondly, running a finger across the scar on his nose.

_Thank you,_ she thought, stifling a giggle as his nose twitched. _You helped me smile again. Kira-kun told me the other day that he thinks you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I agree. For the first time since...well, I don't quite remember when, I'm able to dream of a future, one that we can share..._

But what kind of future that would be...she'd leave up to him. Lacus-san had asked 'what happens now', and although Murrue had her dreams, she was content with things the way they were. Leaning down, she kissed Neo gently, and settled back on the grass, amber eyes trained on the stars, his head still cradled in her lap. She felt peaceful, contented and happy, and stretched out a hand above her head, sketching patterns with her fingers in the night air. Whatever the future held, she'd accept it, if she could share it with him.

A few hours later, he stirred, blinking azure eyes up at the scattered stars above. Confused for a moment, Neo smiled as he remembered where he was. The trees rustled in the light breeze, mixing with soft breathing, which became louder as he lifted his head from where it had been resting. Murrue was lying on the grass just as he was, eyes closed, pale face wearing a peaceful smile which only grew as he brushed a gentle hand across her cheek. She never woke up though, not even when he gathered her up in his arms and carried her into the house.

Settling her in bed and tucking the covers around her, he sat down on the mattress and watched her as she slept, carefully brushing away a lock of hair from her face. She murmured a little at the touch, and he smiled gently, content to just watch her like this. It had been a year since they'd come back to live here, and just less than that since they'd gotten together - it still didn't feel quite real, especially now that he remembered things as they'd been before.

_That's part of the reason for this,_ he thought, fingering the object in his pocket. _I never told her, but while we were together before, I sometimes let myself dream of what might happen when the war was over. I wanted to ask her, to see what she'd say - whether she'd accept me or not. But even if...even if I hadn't remembered, I'd have wanted to ask her anyway._

Pulling the object from his pocket, Neo flipped it open and gazed at the shining object inside. This was the reason he'd been working longer hours than normal, coming home so late he only had time to shower before falling asleep in her arms. It was all worth it.

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( fwee

Disjointed kinda, but it's more transition than anything else..

Please read and review! )


	16. Chapter 16

How the kid found him, Neo had no idea. He'd been sitting on the sea wall near home, his favourite place to come when he wanted to think, and he hadn't even noticed the kid approach until he sat down beside him, that oddly knowing look in those violet eyes of his.

"Is there something wrong, Mwu-san?" he asked quietly, gaze trained on the same point on the horizon as Neo's.

"Why would there be?" was the reply, expression never changing.

Kira smiled, tipping his head back to enjoy the last of the sun. "It's that look you have. Like you're thinking about something, or thinking about doing something. Are things between you and Murrue-san going okay?"

Neo raised an eyebrow. "Nosy kid.." he remarked mildly, and the young man smiled ruefully, still watching the twilit sky.

"You always said that," he said softly. "But you're right, I'm sorry. You just looked worried about something, that's all."

The blonde man stood up, wandering over the beach a little way, hands stuffed in his pockets. "I am," he admitted. "There's something I want to ask Murrue...but I don't know how to say it.."

"Sounds important," mused Kira. "But if it's what I think it is, you don't have anything to worry about. I'm sure she'll accept if you ask her.."

Neo sighed, the corners of his mouth quirking in a grin. "I'd like to think she would," he replied, without asking how Kira knew what he was worrying about. "I still wonder, though. About a lot of things. Whether someone like me would be right for someone like her after all that I've done, and whether she doesn't still wish that I was who I used to be..."

"You are who you always were," put in Kira with a smile. "You may not be the same here," he tapped his head, "but who you are _here_," he continued, tapping his heart, "has never changed. That's why you don't need to worry."

Neo smiled, this time more genuinely. _I'm being dumb for worrying so much. I'm sitting here staring at nothing, confiding in a nineteen-year-old kid - because I'm scared. Everything that I've been and done, having fought in two wars, beaten impossible odds...and I'm scared of this?_

Running a hand through rumpled blonde locks, he stretched out his arms and gazed up at the stars. Probably she was looking up at those same stars right now in the garden, amidst the tightly-closed flower buds, dark hair tied into a ponytail, that gentle smile on her face. That thought caused his smile to grow. Why was he scared? He loved her, didn't he? He'd always loved her. Even though he remembered very little, barely anything in fact, about his former life, for some reason he remembered the times he'd spent with her very clearly. The day they'd met, how they'd gradually become friends, his sadness at having to leave her...the nights they'd spent together, it was all there. And eventually, he'd come to understand why that was. In a sense, Murrue _was_ his memories. Everything else about his - Mwu's - life was blurry and indistinct, but he got the impression that that life hadn't exactly been a happy one...except for the times he'd spent with her.

"I don't remember everything, but I remember all I need to," he said aloud, taking the small box from his pocket. Without another word, he turned and walked away across the sand, leaving Kira there still sitting on the sea wall, smiling happily.

The evening was beautiful, warm with a light breeze, not a cloud to mar the perfect view of the stars. She sat on the doorstep of her house, glass of wine in one hand, staring at the sky. _The stars look so different from down here. Twinkling...almost comforting. A reminder that you're not alone. Odd then, that it's the opposite from space. Up there, they're a reminder that you __**are**__ alone...one person in the middle of emptiness. _Sipping her wine, she closed her eyes for a second against painful memories, then smiled. No-one wanted to be alone, did they? Erica had told her that she was a person who wasn't meant to be alone...that she needed someone to share her life with - and she'd found him.

Earlier that evening, he'd gone for a walk along the beach, the way they did most nights, only this night he'd asked to be alone for a little while...that he had something he wanted to think about, and she'd let him go. There had been an odd expression on his face, worried, but happy at the same time, which made her wonder. _He still keeps secrets from me, but then again, who doesn't keep secrets, even from someone they love?_

Opening her eyes to gaze at the stars one more time, she stretched out lazily, and got to her feet to go back into the house. It was surprising really...how quickly she'd gotten used to sharing everything. Her life, her home...maybe Erica was right. Maybe she really _wasn't _meant to be alone? Smiling again, she hummed softly, fixing sandwiches for supper, her mind wandering though thoughts of the previous year. He'd appeared in her life so suddenly, azure eyes and blonde hair stirring up buried memories of happiness and pain, and two years worth of trying to keep everything locked away. His initial indifference and confusion had hurt, of course, but after a while she'd realised that he was in as much pain as she was.

_It brought us together...we became friends. Exactly when it was that things started getting...serious, I don't remember. But it felt natural. Like it was meant to happen somehow. I don't even care if he never remembers everything. I'm happy with things the way they are._

Lost in thought, Murrue never noticed the one entering the house and sneaking up behind her...until it was too late.

"Ahh!"

He chuckled, nuzzling his face into her neck, the scent of sandalwood surrounding her. "Gotcha.."

Sighing, she leaned back into his embrace. "I didn't know when you'd be back. I made sandwiches.."

Neo smiled, hugging her a little tighter. "Thanks. I'm just going to go grab a shower, okay?" With one last kiss, he let her go, heading towards the bathroom. Murrue smiled and watched him go, before turning back to her sandwiches.

But there was something else there. Beside the chopping board and sliced tomatoes...was a tiny box covered in black velvet - had he put that there and forgotten it? Picking it up, she idly flicked the catch and opened the box.

Only to almost drop it once she saw the contents.

Inside the box, resting on a silk cushion...was a ring. A delicate silver ring, topped with a tiny triangular diamond. This was...she knew what this was, what he was silently asking by leaving this here. Wiping away a tear, Murrue gazed at the ring for a few minutes, before carefully taking it from the box and slipping it onto the third finger of her left hand, then returning to the sandwiches. The tears still fell...they wouldn't stop, but she didn't mind. True, it might not have been the most romantic proposal in the world, the one most women probably dreamed of, but to her, it was perfect. Speeches, romantic over-the-top gestures...they weren't needed. They had already decided before all of this that they were going to be together - were going to stay together, even though they hadn't spoken about it. It was something that really didn't need to be said. Like his silent proposal.

Humming again, she finished the sandwiches, arranging them on a plate before carrying the plate into the sitting room. Closing the curtains, smoothing down the thick fabric carefully, she curled up on the sofa, sandwich in hand...and simply sighed, feeling more content and happy than she ever remembered being before.

A slight creak at the doorway caused her to glance up, a gentle smile crossing her face at the sight of her lover...her new fiance. He smiled back, blue eyes flicking to the ring encircling her finger, and came to sit beside her, winding his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. She could feel his silent gratitude, and her smile grew. Closing her eyes, she settled back into his embrace, sandwich forgotten on her lap.

And she dreamed.

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( Heh. Less cliched than perhaps expected? Fwee.

Please read and review! )


	17. Chapter 17

He awoke to the same sounds he did every morning. Birdsong, the crash of waves on the not-too-distant beach, and the soft breathing of the one sleeping beside him. Prying open a blue eye, he smiled as he saw her there. Fast asleep, marigold eyes tightly closed, a lock of auburn hair spilling over her face. She was smiling in her sleep, her dreams obviously pleasant ones, and the smile grew as he reached out to brush his fingers against her cheek. Last night, he'd given her that silver ring that shone on her left hand - had proposed without really proposing. But she'd accepted anyway, and he was more than grateful to her.

_Funny really. I proposed, and she accepted. We're engaged now, but I never stopped to think about 'what happens next'. Being engaged means that one day we'll get married...but not yet. This..being engaged..it feels like a natural progression. We already know that we want to be together, to stay together, the ring just makes it official, that's all..._

After he'd come into the sitting room after his shower and seen the ring on her finger, he'd just embraced her. Not saying anything, the two of them had sat there for what felt like hours, simply enjoying each other's presence. He'd been able to tell that this was what she'd needed...the chance at a future that wouldn't be snatched away from her, and he was more than happy to be the one to share it with her.

"Murrue," he murmured, caressing her face again. "Murrue, wake up.."

She didn't respond for a moment, mumbling incoherently, and he sighed, leaning forward to kiss her lightly. "C'mon, sweetheart. We have work today.."

That got her attention. Groaning, the young woman hid her face under the comforter. "You're kidding," she muttered. "We only just got to sleep, didn't we?"

Neo chuckled, pulling back the blankets and pressing a sweet kiss to the crown of her hair. "It _was_ pretty late," he admitted. "Midnight, 1AM, something like that. But it was fun, wasn't it?" His grin grew wicked, and Murrue blushed.

"W-well, y-yes..." she stammered, fishing under her pillow for her nightdress and slipping it over her head. "But that's not the point. If we're late for work, you know what Erica will say..."

"I'll just tell her we overslept," he replied airily, wrapping her up in his arms and flopping back onto the pillows. "It'd be the truth, wouldn't it?"

"Yes," she admitted, reaching out and tracing a finger across his scar. "But both of us oversleeping would seem very suspicious, don't you think?"

Neo just grinned, kissing her finger. "Probably."

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Erica's face was a picture. Taking Murrue's left hand, she examined the tiny silver ring that shone there, aqua eyes wide. "Last night?" she asked, and the younger woman nodded, cheeks pinking.

"I'm not sure if you could call it a 'proposal', she said softly. "More like a promise. He is my fiance now, but we haven't thought about what happens next. We're just happy as we are.."

Erica smiled. "I'm glad. The two of you deserve this. Who else knows?"

"So far, just you," was the reply. "We'll have to let Kira-kun and Lacus-san know though, or else they'll never forgive us.." Laughing softly, Murrue placed her bag in her locker, before turning around and clocking the wicked smile on her friend's face. "What?"

"Nothing," answered Erica, taking the younger woman's arm. "I was just thinking that we'll have to have a party or something for the two of you to celebrate.."

Murrue flushed scarlet. "T-there's really no need to make such a fuss," she protested faintly, trying to escape her friend's grasp. But Erica was having none of it.

"Of course there is. You're _engaged_, Murrue," she said firmly, leading her into the staff cafeteria. "Everyone's been worried about you, you know. A few of the others were even thinking about setting you up on a blind date or something...they just wanted to see you happy. Hey, everyone!" she called as they entered the room, a few of the others looking up at her voice.

"Murrue's engaged!" she continued with a grin, causing the other technicians and dock workers to smile and chatter excitedly. The woman in question was almost beetroot in the face by now, thoroughly embarrassed. Managing to break free of Erica's grasp, she scuttled out of the room - to find him waiting for her.

Neo smiled, though managing to look both amused and abashed at the same time. "Guess she's happy, huh?"

Murrue shrugged, leaning into him with a sigh. "I'm glad," she murmured, letting him lead her down the corridor. "I'm pleased she's happy, I just wish she'd be a little less direct about it, that's all.."

He chuckled at that, opening a door and escorting her to the small courtyard that lay just outside the main wing of the facility. This space was peaceful and quiet, sheltered from the wind that blew in off the sea, and dotted with flowering plants Murrue herself had brought from the garden of the clifftop house she'd lived in before. It was one of her favourite places to come when she needed to be alone or to think. "I didn't know you knew about this place," she said softly, sitting down on a bench.

Her fiance nodded, sitting down beside her and winding an arm around her shoulders. "Sure I do," he replied, smiling gently. "It's peaceful here, I like it.."

Murrue brushed her hand against the petals of a pink carnation, pleased. "Erica and I made this," she murmured. "Brought in the benches, the flowers. Just to make a place that people would want to come and sit. I'm glad that...you like it here.." Closing her eyes, she settled back against him with a contented sigh, lulled by his warmth and the warmth of the sun.

"I wanted to thank you," Neo said quietly, causing her to glance up at him in surprise. He smiled sheepishly, moving his arms to wrap them around her waist snugly.

"I just realised that I never thanked you," he clarified. "For accepting me, even though I didn't even ask you properly. Thank you,"

Turning around in his embrace, Murrue shook her head in affectionate exasperation. "There's no need to thank me," she scolded, kissing him lightly. "I wouldn't have turned you down."

He grinned at that, leaning forward and kissing the tip of her nose. "Good to hear,"

"Hey, c'mon lovebirds!" called Erica's teasing voice. "We do have to work today, you know.." Startled for a moment, the couple broke apart, a red flush spreading over Murrue's face as she noticed her friend leaning against the wall. Neo just laughed, kissing his fiancee's forehead before helping her to her feet. "C'mon then, beautiful. Let's go get some work done.."

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"Hey look, it's Murrue-san!" The orphan children raced over the sand to embrace the young woman, who knelt down to welcome them into her arms, laughing happily. Beside her, Neo grinned, bending down to ruffle the hair of some of the kids. "Hey guys. You been good?"

The children giggled, hopping up and down, each wanting to be the first to be picked up, and he obliged, scooping one up under each arm and charging towards the ocean, being followed by a pack of yelling kids. Murrue smiled fondly, getting up and dusting the sand from her knees. _He's as big a child himself as the youngest of them. Something else that hasn't changed..._

"Murrue-san?"

Glancing up, she smiled as Lacus approached. The girl smiled back, wiping soapy hands on her apron. "It's nice to see you here," she said softly, brushing a lock of candyfloss-pink hair back over her shoulder. "Lorrnoke-san too. Athrun came by earlier with Meyrin-chan, I think they're out fishing with Kira right now.."

Murrue nodded. "That's okay. We can wait till they get back.." Pinking, she looked down. "I had something I wanted to tell everyone, so..."

Lacus frowned, confused, until she noticed the ring Murrue wore glitter in the sunlight. Her pretty face lit up in sheer delight, and she hugged the older woman tightly. "How wonderful! When did he ask you?"

"Last night," was the soft reply, blush deepening as Lacus examined the tiny piece of jewellery. "It wasn't a very traditional proposal, but I wouldn't swap it for anything. He didn't even have to ask..."

"So when's the wedding?" Lacus asked cheerfully, and giggled when Murrue didn't answer, just looked away in embarrassment.

"W-we haven't talked about that yet. It's like I told Erica earlier...it's more of a promise. That we'll be together, stay together. Nothing that complicated.."

"Murrue-san," sighed Lacus, voice taking on faint traces of both teasing and scolding, "that's

exactly what a proposal is. A promise to be together. Lorrnoke-san loves you. That's something that's never changed, and that's why he asked you. Whatever happened, the two of you would have found each other again, I'm certain of it."

Murrue smiled a little at her friend's faith, gazing down at her left hand and the engagement ring that shone there, then up at her fiance. Neo was laughing, the merry chuckle ringing across the beach and causing her heart to ache with memories. As she watched, the children marked out a hopscotch grid on the sand, and began to play happily, tossing a water-worn pebble from one square to another and hopping across, giggling all the while. His laughter fading, Neo watched the simple game with an expression halfway between wistfulness and childish fascination, sitting down on the sand to see better.

"What's the matter, Neo-san?" asked one of the orphans. "Do you want to play too?"

The blonde man smiled slightly, but the smile was a sad one. "I don't know how," he replied, and the little girl sat down beside him, patting his arm kindly.

"I guess you haven't played it in a long time. But that's okay, we can help you remember. C'mon!"

And they did. From where she was sitting, Murrue had to smile while swallowing a lump in her throat. After overcoming his initial confusion, Neo had quickly grasped the concept of the game, jumping from one square to another easily, a wide delighted smile on his scarred face, his own laughter mixing with that of the children.

Walking out of the wooden beach house with two cups of tea, Lacus also smiled as she sat down beside Murrue. "I never saw him smile like that," she admitted softly. "Not even when he had all his memories. I wonder if he did anything like this when he was a child?"

"He didn't," was the sad reply. "All this is new to Neo, but also new to Mwu. He didn't tell me everything, but he didn't have to.." _That's right. You don't remember your childhood...and I'm so glad. You don't remember your father, or the life you had then, and that's for the best. With the things they've made you do in the last two years...you have enough sad memories to last a lifetime._

"It's for the best that he's here then, if he has so much to catch up on.." mused Lacus, smiling at her friend. "It'll be quite the adventure when you do get married..."

Murrue nodded, smiling too. "Yes, it probably will.."

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( I liked writing this. It didn't make much sense, but it was so much fun to imagine him playing hopscotch with the orphan kids :grins:

Please read and review! )


	18. Chapter 18

It was the weekend. And she was working. Earlier that morning, she'd gone to her desk to tackle the stack of unfinished paperwork that had piled up over the last few weeks. It seemed neverending, like always, and it would probably be pretty late before she was finished. He had peeked in a couple of hours ago, disappointment evident on scarred face as he'd seen how busy she was, but he hadn't said anything, closing the door and leaving her in peace. And she'd appreciated that. _Of course, he must know what it's like. Neo was a captain, he'll know all about having to tackle paperwork..._ He probably wouldn't come to pester her again, which she was pleased about.

But the more she worked, the less she wanted to. Before, on the _Archangel_, she'd been able to lose herself in her work, letting it take her mind away from shipboard worries, concerns about the war...and her own problems. It had been repetitive, numbing...and comforting, in a way, helping her to concentrate on things other than what was happening outside...and the pain of her loneliness. _ People tried to comfort me, but most of the time I just wanted to stay in my office, to be alone. But he...he wouldn't let me be alone. He'd come and talk to me, make coffee and sit with me, just as he always used to...even though he didn't remember me, and I began to look forward to his visits._

It had probably started then, she realised. It had been difficult not to be attracted to him - very difficult, in fact. At first, it had been because he was so like Mwu, but as they had gotten closer, she'd learned to love him for who he was. And he...well, people mentioned that he seemed to become a different person around her. With most of the crew he was polite, friendly enough...but distant, in a way. But with her, even though some of that distance was still there, he opened up a little more. He smiled more, seemed happy to just be near her, displayed a gentleness that he never showed to others...and it had helped ease her pain. The change in him, his kindness toward her, had in turn changed her. She'd been able to smile and laugh in a way she hadn't since she'd lost Mwu, and everyone around her noticed.

And when they'd gotten together after the war..no-one had been surprised.

Now, things were different. She had her work, it was here in front of her...but she couldn't concentrate anymore. Sighing, Murrue rested her chin on her hands, gazing at the papers in front of her. Repetitive and numbing was all very well, but she didn't really want that right now. Outside was sunny and warm, and she could smell breakfast from the kitchen...did she really have to get all this done today?

As she thought, the door opened and Neo peeked in again, this time grinning widely. All he did was hold out a hand. "C'mon," he said simply. And Murrue couldn't help smiling back, getting to his feet and taking his hand, letting him lead her from the room. How had he known to come in at that moment? As if he'd known exactly when she'd needed him?

"Where are we going?" she asked, still smiling as he led her to the kitchen. He didn't answer, just pulled out a chair and let her sit down, before adding cooked bacon and eggs to a plate and placing it before her.

"Breakfast," he replied, kissing the crown of her hair. "You looked like you needed a break.."

Reaching behind her, she took his hand and squeezed it. "Thanks," was all she said. She didn't mention how much she thanked him, or how much for, but she knew he understood.

"Any time, beautiful.." he replied, kissing her again. "How about we go for a walk later?"

"How did you know?" she asked later. "That I needed a break? I didn't say anything.."

"You didn't have to," he replied, taking her hand and lacing their fingers together. The sea breeze blew over the beach, kicking up puffs of sand and making their hair blow into their faces. He smiled at the feel of the wind, closing his eyes. "I could tell."

_I can always tell, I've always been able to tell. There are moments when you just look so tired, when the weight of work and responsibility weighs you down, and even though you're not a captain anymore, not a soldier, it still happens. And when it does, I'll be here to help._

Grinning, Neo let go of his fiancee's hand and scooped her up, twirling her around and running full-tilt across the beach, chuckling at her delighted laughter.

"Put me down!" she squealed, wriggling around, but making no real effort to escape. Instead of being dulled by concern and stress, her amber eyes were bright with happiness and laughter, which was exactly what he wanted. This was much better than paperwork.

Finding a quiet area of the beach, he sat down, settling her in his lap and resting his chin on her shoulder,

"You think the Director still wants to plan a party for us?" he asked, voice a deep murmur.

Murrue smiled, closing her eyes and leaning back against him. "Erica might not, but I'm sure Lacus-san would want to. Would you like that?

"I guess it might be fun," he admitted. "But I bet the nosy kids will want to know when we've planned all this for.."

"I'll just tell them what I told Erica," she replied. "That we haven't."

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"Come on in, you two," said Kira cheerfully, opening the door wide to let the couple in. The interior of the little house was warm and inviting, food and drink laid out on the table, and every one of their friends who could fit inside waiting for them. Murrue blushed, hiding behind her fiance, who just chuckled, taking her hand and tugging her in front of him. "C'mon, Murrue, this is your party too, remember?"

"Yes, I know," she murmured, still red in the face, "but it's embarrassing..."

The people grouped around the table laughed, knowing exactly what the young woman was like, which only made her blush deepen. Shaking her head, she let Neo escort her inside the house, and sat down at the table with him, surrounded by their friends.

"So," said Kira, without giving the couple time to even choose a sandwich, "when's the wedding?"

Lacus nudged the young man sharply. "Kira," she scolded, "stop that." Murrue was crimson, and Neo himself looked sheepish, reaching for a sandwich. Not for a moment did he regret proposing to Murrue, and he was pleased that their friends wanted to celebrate with them, but did they really have to draw so much attention to it?

"Sorry," said Kira, abashed. "I didn't mean to embarrass you. I just..."

_You want us to be happy, _Murrue finished for him silently. _I know, Kira-kun. You tried so hard to make me smile again after I lost Mwu, and you were so happy when Neo and I got engaged..._

"We haven't planned anything yet," she said quietly, gazing at her lap. "We'd just like to take things slowly. But when we do decide, we'll let you all know. That's a promise.."

Neo nodded, taking her hand and squeezing gently. "It'll happen," he said with a smile. "But ya know, we have to get used to the idea too, it's only been a week or so. When we do decide to get married though, everyone's invited."

"As long as you're both happy," replied Lacus softly. "That's all we want.."

When the little celebration was in full swing, Murrue excused herself and went outside for some fresh air. Sitting on the porch of the tiny house, she smiled as the moonlight glinted off the diamond ring on her finger. Lately, she'd begun to imagine what the future held for her and her new fiance...she couldn't help it. Even though dreaming of the future was something she generally tried to avoid, with peace and stability she now had, it was difficult not to.

"I didn't expect him to propose," came a familiar voice from behind her, and she laughed, gazing at the ring again.

"Neither did I," she replied. "But I'm glad - very glad - that he did. I'm sorry I didn't call and tell you..it was a bit overwhelming."

"I can imagine," mused Andrew Bartfeld, coming to sit on the porch beside her. "I'm happy for you though. Happy for you both. He's a good man."

"He is," Murrue said softly, a gentle smile gracing her lips at the thought of her fiance. "That's something that's never changed.."

"He is La Fllaga, isn't he?" Andrew asked, and she nodded, hugging her knees to her chest as a cool breeze blew in off the sea.

"Yes and no," she replied. "Neo is still Mwu inside, but even if he wasn't, I'd still love him.."

Andrew smiled a little, looking up at the stars. In truth, he'd known that this would happen, ever since he'd seen Lorrnoke standing behind Miss Ramius on the bridge of the _Archangel_. He'd known that they'd find each other, and he _was_ happy for them...but also jealous. He'd grown to care for Miss Ramius in the two years, and had begun to harbour a faint hope that perhaps one day he and she could have found happiness together. But he'd known deep down that even if La Fllaga (or the man he was now) had never come back, that things could never really have worked out between him and Miss Ramius. She still loved La Fllaga, he'd been able to see the sadness in her eyes, the loneliness. And Andrew was able to understand. He still loved, would always love Aisha. Just as he would never have been able to replace La Fllaga, she would never have been able to replace Aisha.

_But still, it was nice to hope. To dream._

From the window of the small house, he watched with an unreadable expression as the young woman outside chatted amiably with the man beside her. At times, she smiled happily as she spoke, and he couldn't help but wonder what they were talking about. She and this man seemed to share something, a connection...and he wasn't able to quite suppress the jealousy that stabbed at his heart. _This man has some kind of relationship with Murrue, that much is obvious. But what kind?_

"You don't have to worry, Mwu-san," came the Kira-kid's voice from beside him. "Bartfeld-san and Murrue-san are good friends, but that's all. Because Murrue-san waited for you. Even if you'd never come back, she'd have still waited. Bartfeld-san took care of her...I think he just wants to make sure Murrue-san's happy."

Neo smiled a little, though still feeling slightly jealous. "I'm glad that she had someone with her," he mused softly. "He cares about her, that much is obvious...it must be hard to let her go.."

"Could you?" Kira asked with a smile, and the older man shook his head.

"Never." was the quiet reply. He watched as Bartfeld placed a hand on Murrue's shoulder and mentioned something that caused the young woman to smile again, before he got up and left, leaving Murrue sitting alone gazing at the waves.

"Ask Murrue-san," said Kira. "She'll say the same thing. Bartfeld-san's been a good friend to her...he understood better than any of us how sad she's been in the last couple of years when you weren't here. He lost the one he loved in the war too, you see..."

Neo nodded, before taking his leave of the boy. Pushing open the door, he stepped out into the cool evening air, just standing there and watching her for a while. Her dark hair fluttered in the breeze, and she smiled, pushing a stray lock behind her ear. The moonlight caused the tiny diamond on her engagement ring to sparkle, and she gazed down at it, smile becoming gentle.

"Did I make the right choice?" he asked, and she turned to look up at him, seemingly not surprised he was there.

"Of course you did," she replied softly. Patting the boards of the porch, she invited him to sit down beside her. As he did so, she simply rested her head on his shoulder.

"Commander Bartfeld said that you were watching me," she murmured after a moment. She didn't say anything more about it, just closed her eyes and settled close to him. Neo smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"The kid said he took care of you..that he lost someone he loved too.." he mentioned, and Murrue nodded.

"He didn't tell me much about her, just that she died protecting him. His pain, his guilt, it was something I could understand, just as he understood mine," she said, voice barely above a whisper. He sighed, pulling her a little closer. The sadness was clear to see in those marigold eyes, sadness he never wanted to see from her again.

"You don't have to feel like that anymore," he told her, tone earnest. Murrue smiled, raising her head to look up at him at those words.

"I may not be _him _- not exactly, anyway - but I'm here for you anyway, okay?" he continued, and she nodded, taking his hand and squeezing gently. He smiled back, leaning down to kiss her. He wanted more than anything for her to be happy, but he hadn't been able to hide that sting of jealousy at seeing her with someone else.

_She was all I remembered...the reason I wanted to stay on _Archangel _in the first place. The only memory I had that I could trust was that one image of her I got when I was flying back to the ship. In simple terms, she's all I have. _Taking the hand that held his, he raised it to his lips and kissed it, smiling again at her blush.

"You wanna skip out on this and go home?" he asked, and Murrue giggled.

"I don't think Kira-kun and Lacus-san would like that very much. Come on," Still holding his hand, she stood up, pulling him to his feet. "Let's get it over with.."

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"They sure were happy," he observed later, as she unlocked the door to the little house. "More for you than for me though, I think.."

Murrue smiled, setting down her bag and slipping off her shoes. "I think they were just worried about me. But they're happy for you too. Even if you've never told them, they're able to see that you've had a hard time. They're pleased that you've been able to settle down here, just as I am.."

"I wouldn't have been able to if it hadn't been for you," he said quietly, moving close to wrap his arms around her waist. "I owe you a lot, you know?"

She pinked at his words, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him gently. "You don't owe me a thing," she replied, rubbing her nose to his. "I'm the one who owes you.."

_It's true. You may not be my Mwu, not the one I knew, but you took away my loneliness, helped me finally move on with my life...I'm so glad I met you..._

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(It's a bit disjointed, I know, but it took me ages to write this...

Please read and review! )


	19. Chapter 19

"She told me I'd probably find you here.."

The blonde man glanced up at those words, a slight smile crossing his face at the sight of his visitor. Gesturing to the sand beside him, he shifted his gaze back to the ocean as the other man sat down. The light was pale, the sun having just risen, and the rest of the beach was empty aside from the sea birds pecking at the white sand.

The other man also watched the sea, blue eyes occasionally flicking to the younger man. Miss Ramius had mentioned last night that if he wanted to talk to Lorrnoke, sunrise would probably be the best time, as he often woke up very early to go for a walk on the beach.

_"He does it most mornings. He says the silence helps him think.." _she'd said quietly, smiling a little. _"He's still not quite used to crowds..."_

He could understand that...he felt the same way sometimes. And from what he could tell, Colonel Lorrnoke's life up until a year ago had been pretty much the polar opposite of what it was now...it must have taken him a long time to adjust.

"You took care of her, didn't you?" Lorrnoke asked, voice soft. He was still smiling, but the expression was a sad one. "Thank you.."

Andrew shook his head, smiling too. "I'm the one who should be thanking you. The way Miss Ramius smiles now...I've never seen that from her before, and I'm sure that it's because of you."

"You're not mad at me?" the younger man asked, picking up a handful of the white sand and letting it trickle through his fingers. "You've been there for her for two years...then I suddenly show up and take her away from you.."

"Not really," was the reply. "I won't deny that I care about her, but I'm not the one she was waiting for. You were the one she wanted, and I could never have replaced you.." Sighing, Andrew tipped his head back to gaze into the duck-egg blue sky, noting that rather than being happy, Lorrnoke seemed somewhat dejected. "What is it?"

"But I'm not the one she's been waiting for, am I?" he asked quietly. "I'm not him. I might have been once, but not now.."

"You are," Andrew replied. "We can all see it. But even if you weren't, it wouldn't matter. You're the one she chose, and she's happy with her choice. Just accept it."

"I will," he said softly, brushing a lock of dirty-blonde hair from his face. "And I promise I'll take care of her. Thank you." Without another word, he got to his feet and walked away across the sand, leaving Andrew still sitting there.

"We know you will.." he murmured.

The little house was still quiet when he let himself in. The sun had fully risen now, the pale greenish sky having brightened to a deep blue, but there was no sign that she was awake yet. Making himself a mug of tea, he crept into the little bedroom...and smiled. His fiancee was still sound asleep, chocolate-coloured hair covering her face, and one small hand curled around the blankets that covered her. She never woke when he carefully sat down on the bed, but she did stir slightly when he brushed the back of his hand against her cheek to move the hair.

_I didn't expect that guy to be like that. The kid said he took care of Murrue in the last two years...so I expected him to be jealous, angry. I know I would be. But instead, he was okay with me being here. All he wanted to do was be sure that I'll take care of her...and I will._

Leaning back against the peach painted wall, Neo smiled again, comforted and contented. Taking a drink of his tea, he closed his eyes to listen to the sounds of the sea birds and the soft breathing of the woman by his side. The kid had asked when he and Murrue planned to marry, and he'd answered with a grin that they hadn't. The ring he'd given her was an engagement ring, true enough, but they hadn't planned a wedding, or planned that there would even _be_ a wedding. The ring was more of a symbol of togetherness, a promise that neither of them had to be alone again.

_And we won't be. Whatever happens, we'll always have each other..._

A couple of hours later, she awoke, rubbing marigold eyes with a fist. Seeing him sitting there beside her, she smiled drowsily. "Hi.." she murmured. "Good morning.."

"Morning, beautiful," he replied cheerfully, reaching out to ruffle her hair affectionately. "Did you sleep well?"

Yawning and stretching, she nodded happily, nuzzling into his touch. "Did you have a nice walk?" she asked, sitting up in the bed, and smiled when her fiance nodded.

"I met that guy," he said softly. "The one you were talking to last night. He said that you told him where to find me.."

Murrue sighed, shuffling close and resting her head on his shoulder. "He wanted to talk to you," she said, shifting amber gaze to look out of the window. "He didn't say why..."

Neo smiled a little, stroking her hair. "He wanted to make sure I'd look after you," was his reply. "He really cares about you, you know." At those words, the young woman blushed. She'd known deep down that Commander Bartfeld may have liked her as more than a friend, but hadn't wanted to think about it. _I appreciated his friendship, his kindness...he helped me move on with my life. But as close as we got...I always kept my heart distant, or tried to. I wanted love, but was afraid of it. And so I stayed alone...until I met __**him**_.

"I know," she murmured, taking his hand. "And I can't thank him enough for being there for me. Smiling, she kissed her fiance's cheek before settling down in his arms. "He knows I'm happy with you."

Neo nodded, pulling her close and pressing a kiss to the crown of her hair. She heard his soft chuckle at her contented sigh, and felt him begin to trace patterns on her back through the thin fabric of her nightdress. She sighed again, the soft sound almost a purr, and snuggled closer happily.

"You always did like that," she heard him say. "Whenever you had trouble sleeping, this was all I had to do to help you relax.."

"That was only part of it.." she replied, more than a little drowsy now. "What helped most was you being there.." Neo remembered more and more about their time together now, each passing day seeming to unlock more memories. But still, anything from his life before, his academy days, or his childhood, was still blank. Privately, Murrue wondered whether he wasn't unconsiously repressing those memories, perhaps somehow knowing that a lot of them were unhappy or traumatic._ I think Neo remembered the times he spent with me because he __**wanted**__ to remember them. Those unhappy childhood memories played a part in shaping the Mwu I knew, which is why I don't think I'll ever see him again. Not the man he used to be. But..._ She smiled, resting her head on his chest. _It doesn't make me love him any less..._

"You sleeping again?" he asked quietly, threading his fingers through her hair. "Haven't you slept long enough?"

"It's your fault," she accused, half-opening her eyes and trying to sit up. "You're _making_ me sleepy!" Yawning again, she rubbed her eyes and managed a drowsy glare at him. Neo, for his part, just chuckled.

"I wanted to see if it still worked," was his reply, as he untangled his hand from her hair and caressed her cheek instead. "I'm glad it does..."

"Of course it does," Murrue replied softly, cheeks pinking as she glanced down at the comforter. "After...after you - he - it was hard to sleep. I wasn't used to being alone anymore, and.." She blinked when he caught her chin in her fingers and tilted it up to make her gaze meet his.

"It's okay now," he told her gently, kissing the tip of her nose. "It's going to be all right." Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her into his embrace, nuzzling his face into her hair. His warmth comforted her, causing her to smile, which she knew had been his intention.

"Thanks," she murmured, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent.

"Any time," he replied, kissing the crown of her hair, "What do you want to do today?"

Murrue smiled again, entwining her hands with his. "Can we stay here? Just for a little while?"

He answered with a kiss.

Several hours later, they hadn't moved, she still curled up in his arms. Her beautiful face wore a serene smile, amber eyes closed, and she barely stirred when he tucked the comforter a little tighter around her. Her only reaction was to crack her eyes open just a fraction, and her smile grew. Neo grinned, pulling her further into his embrace and resting his cheek against her hair. "I love you," he whispered, kissing her softly.

"Love you too," she replied, voice barely above a murmur. "We going to get up today?"

"Nah," he said cheerfully. "I like it here...and I know you do too.."

Murrue grumbled slightly, but let him kiss her again, nestling her head on his shoulder. "There's the weekend gone," she said softly, closing her eyes. "Is this what it'll always be like?"

"Sure, as long as you keep working too hard," he informed her, trying hard to suppress a grin at her huff of annoyance. _And 'always' sounds nice. To always be here, to always wake up and see you there beside me. To have this forever..._

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( Random fluffy nonsense :sweatdrops: but it was fun to write. And this is as close to being Mwu as Neo's going to be, by the way.

Please read and review! )


	20. Chapter 20

"What is it, Kira? Is something bothering you?"

The young man smiled a little and shook his head, though his violet eyes were faraway.

"Not really," he mused. "I was just thinking, that's all. How long has it been since the end of the war?"

Lacus smiled. "A year and a half, almost. It doesn't seem that long, does it?"

When Kira didn't answer, the pink-haired girl sighed, kneeling down on the sand beside him. "Something's bothering you, Kira, I can tell," she scolded affectionately, placing her hand on his. "What is it?"

"Nothing's changed," said the teenager softly. "We all just came home and carried on the same way.."

"Isn't that the point?" was the reply. "We fought to defend what we had, so wouldn't it make sense that we'd come back home to the same things, the same life, as we left behind? And besides, some things _are_ different, aren't they? Athrun has Meyrin-chan now, and Murrue-san has Lorrnoke-san. People are happy now."

Kira nodded. "I know. But Athrun and Meyrin-chan only just started dating for real, and Murrue-san and Mwu-san just want to stay as they are.."

"That bothers you, doesn't it?" asked Lacus. "That they haven't taken things any further?" She wasn't talking about Athrun and Meyrin, and Kira knew it.

"A bit," he admitted. "She never said anything, but Murrue-san was really lonely without Mwu-san. I thought that now she had him back..."

Lacus smiled, understanding. Kira had often spoken of the debt he felt he owed to his two older friends, of the kindness and support they'd shown him and how much he wanted to repay them somehow. When Murrue-san and Lorrnoke-san had begun dating, then eventually gotten engaged, Kira had been delighted, hoping that with the wedding his friends could finally be happy.

_And their happiness would be the final repayment of the debt he believes he owes them..._ With that in mind, Lacus decided to go visit their friends later that day, to ask Murrue-san and Lorrnoke-san what their plans were. And besides, she herself would rather like to see what the wedding of those two might be like...

Standing up and brushing the dirt from the knees of her jeans, she gazed at her handiwork with a small, satisfied smile. Weeding was a chore, sure enough, but it was good to know it was all done. Tipping her head back, Murrue stretched out in the warm sunlight, her smile growing at the tuneless whistling mixed with hammering coming from the other end of the garden.

"Murrue-san?"

The voice caused the young woman to turn round in surprise, pale face lighting up as she saw the one who had called her. "Oh, Lacus-san!"

The nineteen-year-old girl smiled back, the expression a rather embarrassed one. "I wondered if it would be all right if I visited," She glanced down, one hand smoothing out her dress. "You don't mind?"

"Of course not," replied Murrue, opening the garden gate to let in her younger friend. "Please. come in..." Looking down at herself, she smiled a little ruefully at her soil-caked clothes and hands. "Sorry. I'll go get cleaned up.."

"No need," said Lacus softly. "I'm the one imposing. I just wanted to see how you and Lorrnoke-san are getting on..it's been a while since we've seen you.."

Murrue grinned, angling a glance behind her at the blonde man near the house. Neo had helped her a little in the garden earlier, tackling some of the bigger weeds and some of the nettles that had sprung up in the corner near the apple tree before she'd set him to work repairing the window frames of the house. At the moment, he was hard at work, azure eyes intent on his task, and never noticed their young visitor.

"We're just fine," she replied, amber eyes softening as she watched her fiance work. Gesturing to Lacus, she invited the young woman into the kitchen to sit down at the table while she prepared iced tea for them both.

"Was Kira-kun busy? I expected him to have come with you today.." she mused as she poured the liquid into two glasses. Lacus smiled, accepting the drink.

"I didn't tell Kira I was coming today," she replied. "I wanted to talk to you about him, actually. Something's bothering him.."

Murrue frowned, sipping her tea. "Oh?"

The younger woman nodded, but didn't elaborate. Instead, what she said next was rather different.

"Murrue-san, tell me something. If Strike hadn't been destroyed that day, and Commander La Fllaga hadn't lost his memories, had come home with us instead, do you think the two of you would have been married now?"

That wasn't quite what Murrue had been expecting. Blinking, she glanced at her glass of tea, not sure how to answer. Of course, it was something she'd always thought about, always wondered. If Mwu hadn't left her, what kind of life could they have had? _We never talked about it, about after the war. But if we had come home together, I'm sure that things would have worked out that way..._

"I think so," she said quietly, a slight tinge of pink colouring her cheeks.

Lacus nodded, smiling gently. "I think so too, and so do a lot of your friends. You aren't interested in having something like that with Lorrnoke-san?"

That remark, coupled with the young woman's faintly knowing smile, caused Murrue's blush to deepen, and she coughed.

"I-I..."

Lacus giggled at her friend's embarrassment. "You wouldn't want that?"

Recovering herself, Murrue gazed at her lap for a moment, taking a few deep breaths...then smiled, looking back up at Lacus calmly.

"Yes," she replied simply. "I would. But Neo isn't Mwu. Think of them as two different people with similar personalities. Two people with one heart. What Mwu would have wanted, or would have done, isn't necessarily what Neo would want. He's still adjusting to this life, to being here like this. If one day he wants to get married, then we can. But until then, I'll wait."

"You don't mind that?" Lacus wanted to know, and Murrrue shook her head.

"No, I don't mind. I'm happy just to be with him," she answered, finishing her iced tea and placing the empty glass by the sink. "Is that what Kira-kun was worried about?

Her younger friend nodded, sipping the last of her drink. "Kira...he feels as though he owes you and Commander La Fllaga a great deal. For helping him out so much, for being there for him. I think seeing you and Lorrnoke-san together and happy would be a repayment of the debt Kira believes he owes you.."

Murrue nodded, understanding, and smiled. "Tell him that he doesn't owe us anything. In fact, I'm the one who owes him. Both you and he are good friends, and I can't thank you two enough for being there for me the last two years. Tell Kira-kun that we _are_ happy, okay? Tell him he doesn't have to worry about us..."

"I didn't expect to see the princess over here.." he mused later, idling with the glass of wine she'd just given him. "I thought she'd have been looking after those kids like she always does.."

Murrue smiled, sipping her own wine before setting down her glass. "And that's why I'm glad she did come over. She and Kira-kun work so hard taking care of the orphans, they deserve a break.." Stretching out, she snuggled up to him on the sofa, closing her eyes. "Don't you think?"

"Yeah," he replied softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "What did she want to talk to you about? You two sure were in the kitchen a long time.."

"Apparently Kira-kun was worried about us," she replied with a smile. "He feels he owes us somehow, a debt for us helping him, and his way of repaying that debt is for us to be as happy as we can be. I think he's a little worried that us not being married yet means that we aren't..."

"You are, aren't you?" Neo asked, a note of worry to his deep voice. "I mean... we could get married if you want.."

Murrue sighed, pushing herself up to kiss him gently. "Stop that. I told you I was, didn't I? And I am. If we ever do get married, I want it to be because _you_ want it. Okay?"

"Okay. But I promise, that one day we will." he replied, threading his fingers through her auburn hair. "Because I can't think of anything I'd like better..."

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( Yay lol. I've touched on the debt he feels he owes to Mwu and Murrue-san in other stories, so I thought I'd add it here.

I hope you liked it! Please read and review! )


	21. Chapter 21

"Aren't you nervous, Murrue-san?"

The woman gazed up at her younger friend from where she was sitting by the window of the small room gazing out at the ocean, and smiled.

"No, not really." she replied softly. "I don't see any reason why I should be.."

Lacus smiled too, the expression amused but not surprised, and sat down on the bed beside her friend. "You're getting married tomorrow, and you're not nervous? Most people would be.."

"Probably they would be," Murrue mused, amber gaze still fixed on the moonlit sea. "But I don't think being married will be much different from being engaged.." She and Neo had been engaged for two years now, and had been perfectly content for things to stay as they were. Until, that is, he'd remembered that her thirty-first birthday was coming up, and cheerfully decided that her birthday present...would be their wedding. Murrue certainly hadn't been expecting that, but it was something that she'd secretly been wishing for. A year ago, Kira and Lacus had been married in the little stone chapel on the beach, the ceremony a tiny but happy one, the couple surrounded by their friends and the orphan children. Neo and Murrue had attended of course, thrown the rice and flower petals, the blonde man clearly not understanding the meaning behind the ritual. But he'd thrown it anyway, chuckling at the pink rose petal that had settled in her auburn hair before picking it out. Taking her hand, he'd placed the petal in the palm before closing her fingers over the flower fragment.

_"One day soon, okay? I promise..." _he'd whispered, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it gently. Murrue had blushed, pale skin flushing bright pink, but she'd nodded, accepting his kiss. And she'd known he'd keep that promise. All she had to do was wait.

_And now, I don't have to wait anymore._

A little later that evening, Murrue was sitting out on one of the sand dunes that towered above the beach house, book in hand. But in truth, she was more focused on her thoughts. Tomorrow was her wedding day, something she'd dreamed about for a long time, but never thought she'd be able to have. And despite all she'd said to Lacus-san, she _was_ nervous. Who wouldn't be?

"A penny for your thoughts?"

Jumping in shock, Murrue glanced behind her...and sighed, pressing a hand to her racing heart. "You shouldn't be here," she scolded, turning back to her book. He just laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling his face into her hair.

"Didn't you miss me?" he asked, deep voice laced with a hint of a whine. His voice and kisses tickled her, and she giggled wildly, but didn't try to escape.

"Of course I did. But you know that we shouldn't see each other until tomorrow..." she replied, still scolding. Neo just grumbled.

"But I missed you," he murmured, pulling her closer. "I know it's bad luck, but I wanted to see you. Besides, don't people make their own luck?"

"That's true," she admitted, gazing back up at the night sky. In truth, good luck or bad, she was glad of his presence. Ever since they'd announced their plan to marry, it felt as though they hadn't had much time alone together. Their friends, especially Lacus-san and Erica, had been delighted at the news, eagerly chattering about what sort of wedding their friends should have, and why it had taken them so long to take this step. Murrue and Neo hadn't really planned what they wanted, just that they wanted things to be as simple as possible. Their friends had helped them plan everything, and as a result, the last couple of weeks had been rather hectic.

"Not regretting it, are you?" he asked softly, resting his chin on her shoulder. She smiled, leaning back against him and closing her eyes.

"Not for a minute.."

"You look worried.."

Neo glanced up at the calm words, and managed a smile. It was an hour before the wedding, and he'd come out here to sit on the sea wall, as he so often did when he had things to think about. He wasn't scared, nor did he regret proposing to Murrue...what he felt was more like curiosity. Would things be any different? He'd been engaged for two years...what was the difference between engagement and marriage? The kid was married now, had been for a year, and nothing seemed to have changed between him and the pink princess.

"Just thinking," he replied, looking back out to sea. "I was thinking about a lot of stuff. About how much things have changed in three years, how different those three years were to the two before - and how I have her to thank for all that..."

"Those two years were hard for her too," Bartfeld pointed out, sitting down on the wall beside the younger man. "I'm sure she'd thank you just as much.."

Neo smiled again, stretching out his arms above his head. He had said that to Murrue once, about how much he owed her for the life he had now. But his fiancee had just scolded him, placing a finger on his lips.

_"You don't owe me a thing," _ she'd said, cheeks reddened with embarrassment. _"You never did."_

"What is it?" asked Bartfeld, noticing Neo's grin.

"Nothing," he replied quietly. "Just thinking that I'm lucky, that's all.."

"Mwu-san," muttered Kira under his breath, "quit fidgeting. She'll be here."

Neo scowled, fussing with the collar and sleeves of his uniform. "I _know_!" he hissed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I know she'll be here..." _She will be..._

And she was.

The door of the chapel opened, and he could see her standing there, silhouetted against the bright daylight outside. She was clad in a simple ivory satin gown, and her lacy veil fluttered in the breeze. She looked beautiful, so much so that he couldn't keep from staring, blue eyes wide and astonished. Murrue noticed his avid gaze and glanced away, cheeks crimson. Glancing up at Bartfeld, the one who was giving her away, she smiled a little nervously, then looked back at Neo before tightening her grip on the bouquet of roses she carried, and walking down the aisle toward him.

The actual ceremony itself...they didn't remember all that well. A blur of faces, the murmur of a dozen voices, the scent of roses. All he could remember was her face. The happy smile, pink to cheeks behind the delicate lace of her veil. He was so focused on her that he barely heard Malchio leading him in what he was meant to say, and more than once he tripped over his words, causing a ripple of laughter to echo round the chapel.

When it came to Murrue's turn, she had almost as much trouble as he had. She was meant to look up at the one beside her while she spoke, but for some reason she found him so handsome that she couldn't look at him for more than a minute without blushing and gazing back at her bouquet. Neo smiled, leaning forward to kiss her on the forehead. "Told you it was a promise.." he whispered, and she nodded, smiling herself.

"I know," she replied, closing her eyes. The rose petal he'd given her the day Kira and Lacus were married...she still had it. She'd known he'd keep his promise - he always did. Taking a deep breath, she looked back up at him, pinking again at the gentleness in his eyes. _Not Mwu. But that doesn't matter. He has barely any memories of his life prior to the last five years, but that doesn't matter either. We have the rest of our lives to create new memories, after all. I know he loves me, and I love him. What else do we need?_

As the ceremony ended, he lifted the veil that covered her face before leaning forward and very carefully kissing her. Murrue smiled into the kiss, reaching up to wind her arms around his neck. No, he wasn't Mwu. But she loved him anyway. She hadn't wanted it at first...there had been too many similarities to the one she'd loved before. But after a while she'd come to notice the differences more than the similarities. He was quieter, more serious than Mwu, which was understandable, and he could even be shy sometimes. And there had been the loneliness. She'd been able to see that clearly, as it was very like her own. Maybe that was what had brought them together?

_He wasn't what I expected or wanted...but he was everything I needed._

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( eheheheh. All done.

I wanted to end it with their wedding, and I hope it makes sense. Neo-san is a tricky character to write..

Please read and review! )


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